Any suggestions on how to deal with a boyfriend with a temper?
January 23rd, 2009 by adminI should start out by saying his temper isn't bad he's just quick to anger over the littlest things and then within 10 minutes he's all smiles.
I've never had to deal with anyone like this an I'm starting to wonder if I'm the bad one. The good definitely out weighs the bad but I'm sick of being told to STFU or that i'm acting like a baby when something I do pisses him off or say something he doesn't agree with.
My boyfriend can sometimes act like this and i just tell him not to talk to me until he calms down and i walk away. When he comes to find me i tell him how much it frustrates and saddens me that he can get so angry so quickly and then just be happy happy like nothing ever happened. He says his apologies and says he'll try to work on it. And he has, he's come a long way since we got together. Now he's a lot more calm and a lot less quick with the flaring temper.
Category: temper : 
January 24th, 2009 at 12:11 am
having sex releases tension
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January 24th, 2009 at 12:21 am
leave him…or medication
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January 24th, 2009 at 12:58 am
move along he is a ticking time bomb
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January 24th, 2009 at 1:38 am
You need to get out. Anyone who tells a girl to STFU does not respect you at all. It's not like he did it once and felt bad about it. It sounds like it's ongoing and not going to change.
Tell him you reallly like him but that he needs to sort out his anger issues through counseling if he wants to be with you.
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January 24th, 2009 at 2:10 am
Dump him. He will be slapping you around sooner or later
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January 24th, 2009 at 2:42 am
yes. Get rid of him, it only gets worse! He will end up ruining your self esteem and you will begin to feel you are the problem.
Plkease RUN!!!
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Life experience
January 24th, 2009 at 3:13 am
throw the toaster at him
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January 24th, 2009 at 3:37 am
he needs a talking to to get his anger under control, use a pastor or some kind of counselor. it will only get worse with time.
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January 24th, 2009 at 4:15 am
He sounds like an idiot.
I have a terrible, terrible temper. But I control it, and i have ways of releasing my emotions through my hobbies and my activities. I haven't acted outlandishly in years.
Your boyfriend can learn to do the same. Don't make excuses for behavior that's obviously unacceptable.
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January 24th, 2009 at 4:25 am
Don't put up with it, at least that's what I would do. You are not the bad one! Don't ever think that!
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January 24th, 2009 at 4:37 am
I have been there, done that! If he want get help now, Dump him. Cause it want change.
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January 24th, 2009 at 5:07 am
i'd be careful. those are the dangerous ones, that snap and then act like nothing happened. not to scare you…he could be fine. just keep an eye on him.
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January 24th, 2009 at 5:24 am
Try to live with that… If doesn't work, just leave… You deserve better
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January 24th, 2009 at 5:49 am
wow. maybe he's bipolar. If he makes you feel like shit tlk to him about it and if he doesnt change leave his a$$
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January 24th, 2009 at 6:34 am
let him cool down by himself. or each time he gets angry kiss him he'll just cool down
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January 24th, 2009 at 6:48 am
That is a form of abuse and it will only get worse. Get out now. Can't you see that you are already questioning your own behavior? That's how abusers break you down. You have been warned.
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January 24th, 2009 at 6:53 am
One of my best friends and their bf has this same problem, except he is Bi polar, Its been going on for about one year, and he's always getting mad at her for talking to other guys (me) and not him, but he is going out to concerts with other girls.. Well, i told her to ask him how it would feel if this was happening to him, and build off that, but if that didn't work, you'll have to think, 'Is this really want I want to deal with for a long time?' That's the best I can do, Hope it helps. If none of this works, your best bet is to find someone that will Love you, not treat you like their dog or something
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Friends' experience
January 24th, 2009 at 7:04 am
I say if he is not willing to get counseling, you should leave him. Being in a relationship is all about testing your limits. If he sees that you're ok with him basically being bi-polar, then he's going to see what else he can get away with. Soon, he could get violent towards you and physically hurt you.
Love is about being able to love that person no matter what their flaws are. Obviously you're doing your part, but he doesn't seem to be if he throws a tantrum everything he doesn't agree with you.
Have him seek help. If he's not willing, then you shouldn't be willing to put up with his anger.
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January 24th, 2009 at 7:29 am
WTFE! You dont have to put up with that. He has issues somewhere in his head. I can tell that this relationship is already takeing its tole on you because you are begining to blame yourself for his attitude. You should break the bread and get out of this relationship. You dont have to be treated that way. Good luck!
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January 24th, 2009 at 7:47 am
My boyfriend can sometimes act like this and i just tell him not to talk to me until he calms down and i walk away. When he comes to find me i tell him how much it frustrates and saddens me that he can get so angry so quickly and then just be happy happy like nothing ever happened. He says his apologies and says he'll try to work on it. And he has, he's come a long way since we got together. Now he's a lot more calm and a lot less quick with the flaring temper.
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January 24th, 2009 at 8:14 am
Why would you let a boyfriend talk to you like that in the first place? The first time a bf told me the STFU I would say get the F out. If he thinks it is ok to talk to you like that and to call you names, whats it going to be like if he really gets mad? My advise, move on this guy has the potential to be an abuser, besides do you really want to be with someone for the rest of your life who thinks nothing about treating you this way? I certainly would never consider marrying him so why date him?
Red
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January 24th, 2009 at 8:34 am
I stayed with a guy like this for a long time trying to fix his problem. The thing is you can't change someone like this! Being with a person with a short fuse can be bad, especially when they turn their frustrations onto you ie start physically and mentally abusing you. I know it can be hard but, don't waste your time with someone like this. They will not change, it's just whether you are willing enough to tolerate this kind of behaviour?
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January 24th, 2009 at 8:59 am
First of all I am going to say that if he is the type of man who gets violent then leave him now.
Saying that, if he isn't the violent type then he simply has frustration issues, I get angry over nothing sometimes and I'm fine 10 minutes later because I am frustrated about something, sit him down and talk to him, tell him you are not going to be putting up with his behaviour if he won't allow you to understand it, there is obviously something on his mind.
Also, I would not accept beign told to STFU or that you are acting like a baby, I would tell him that him saying these thing insults you and you find it rude and unnecessary and that if he wants to continue seeing you then he should respect the fact that you don't like being told to shut up.
My gf used to tell me to shut up as a matter of habit, I hate it though and its the one thing that makes me angry, I find it rude and disprespectful from anyone unless it is in jest, and there is a clear difference between the two. I sat her down and told her calmly that if she told me to shut up once more in anger then I would leave. She hasn't done it since.
I do things she doesn't like too, so I have to try to remember not to do them and to respect her feelings and wishes as well.
If youare to succeed as a couple you need to have boundries and respect each others feelings… he is not respecting yours at the moment and I would advise sitting down and talking with him.
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January 24th, 2009 at 9:06 am
How about when you two are fighting/arguing about something that sets his temper you stop it and openly ask why are we arguing about this. Try to convince him by blaming yourself and himself for what you both did wrong and what you two can do to solve these problems. If you don't solve these problems you'll have much more problems down the road.
Since you did say his positives outweigh the bad, don't give up yet. Try to solve the problems and if not and if he is unwilling to compromise, then you can decide to move on.
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January 24th, 2009 at 9:40 am
look if you love him tell him and he needs to respect you and change his ways, and if he doesnt sorry ma but you gotta leave him…people like that only get worse they keep pushin and pushin pretty soon he is going to stop yellin at you and start hitting!….so sit him down(in a public place so in case things get outta hand) and just tell him dont be afraid its best you stop now then later if its bad….
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January 24th, 2009 at 9:49 am
Going to have to agree with the masses …. broom the guy.
Dont think his temper will change, so get out now or get used to being treated like that (or worse) for a long time.
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January 24th, 2009 at 10:30 am
I am in the same situation. Why are the bipolar ones so cute?
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