What is an appropriate way to handle a toddler's temper tantrum in public?
October 25th, 2008 by adminMy son is 1 1/2 and has just started throwing fits. He's only done it twice in public and it's usually when he's tired. He will hit me and cry unconsolably. I try to calm him down, but it hasn't worked. I don't want to bribe him, spank him or yell at him so what other things should I try? It's frustrating when people look at me like "control your child." I want to get control of this before it happens on a regular basis.
I've tried ignoring the behavior, talking with him calmly, and even distracting him, but when he's done this he is beyond reasoning. We both know I'm the adult and he knows this is unacceptable behavior. The two times he's done this I have left the store, went home and had him sit in time-out for a couple of minutes until we both calm down. I tell him that he made mommy very sad and that his behavior was absolutley unacceptable.
Remove him from the situation, as he may be playing to the audience. Go sit with him in the car if possible.
Plan ahead so you can get him home before he gets over tired. Discuss expectations and consequences with him before you enter the public place. Get him to agree to be good and you will let him do a favorite thing.
My son had tantrums because of an allergy to dairy! Another possiblity to investigate.
Category: temper tantrum : 
October 26th, 2008 at 12:08 am
You remove him from the public setting immediately.
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October 26th, 2008 at 12:26 am
Remove him from the situation, as he may be playing to the audience. Go sit with him in the car if possible.
Plan ahead so you can get him home before he gets over tired. Discuss expectations and consequences with him before you enter the public place. Get him to agree to be good and you will let him do a favorite thing.
My son had tantrums because of an allergy to dairy! Another possiblity to investigate.
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October 26th, 2008 at 1:05 am
k… my brother used 2 do that all the time and now my cousin does it. If u really want him 2 stop then u might have 2 bribe him cause spankin him is just gonna make him scream louder. But dont bribe him with somethin big. Get like those fruit leathers they r healthy and they come in all flavors always carry 1 or 2 of those and when he even shows signs that he is gonna throw a fit give him 1 they r very chewy.
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October 26th, 2008 at 1:13 am
When possible, the best thing to do is to remove him from the situation. Take him outside or into another room or somewhere else where he can get his frustrations out. Let him finish his tantrum and then return to what you were doing. This shows him that throwing a temper tantrum will not get him any extra attention. At his age, you won't be able to reason with him so the best you can do is let him get it out of his system. When he sees that you are not responding the way he might like, he will probably give it up pretty quickly.
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October 26th, 2008 at 1:58 am
Handle it at home and you won't have to handle it in public. Children are supposed to be disciplined.
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October 26th, 2008 at 2:08 am
Above all …do NOT give into the tantrum…or it will continue. Nip it in the bud. Remove him to somewhere secluded and tell him/her this is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. If they do it again,mean buisness and take child home and make them go to room and think about it for awhile. Do not give in
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October 26th, 2008 at 2:42 am
Remove our child from the situation. If that means leaving and going home, so be it.
I'm going through the same thing right now, and honestly, it's the only thing that works. It's just my belief that people that are out and about don't need to deal with my kid's temper tantrum. I also try to schedule outings during times in the day that he's usually in a good mood, if possible.
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October 26th, 2008 at 2:52 am
WHEN YOUR CHILD STARTS HITTING YOU AT ANYTIME HE NEEDS TO KNOW THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE…HE WILL DO IT ALL OF HIS LIFE AND TO OTHERS AS WELL.
HIS LITTLE TIZZIES ARE BEING USED TO CONTROL YOU.
PUT HIM IN HIS CAR SEAT AND OFFER HIM A DRINK OF WATER OR A COOKIE. IN CASE HE IS THIRSTY OR HUNGRY.
IF HE STILL THROWS HIS FIT THEN IGNORE HIM..HE WILL QUIT IF YOU IGNORE HIM…
WHEN MY KIDS WERE LITTLE THEY DID THAT JUST ONCE …BECAUSE THEY WERE SPANKED ON THEIR BUTTS….AND SOUNDLY EXPLAINED NO MORE OF THAT.
PERIOD.
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AN OLD FASHIONED MOM
October 26th, 2008 at 3:35 am
First I try to distract my daughter, like I'll say "Oh, look Strawberries! Should we get some?", but if she's screaming too loud I just ignore other people's stares and walk her out to the car. I also make sure to bring along snacks, a drink, and her fav. toy which helps sometimes.
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October 26th, 2008 at 4:20 am
If he hits you, take his hands and FIRMLY tell him you DO NOT HIT. Removing him from the audience is necessary, if at all possible. If not, ignoring a tantrum is the best way to handle it, rather than focusing on the bad behavior. If he knows he's holding your attention by doing it, he's going to continue. At home, I would put my son in a kind of 'time out' in his bed with the door open (so he knew I was still around) or a play pen. About 2 minutes seemed to do the trick. Always reassuring hugs afterwards!
Consistency has proven to be the key for me. I know you're probably saying, yeah right, easier said than done, but, you'll get there. At least you're handling it now before it gets out of hand! Good for you, too many people don't!
Good luck!
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October 26th, 2008 at 4:29 am
The most important thing is to make sure your son is okay to be in public before you even leave the house! If he throws fits when hes tired make sure he naps before you you go anywhere and if you are out and know that hes in need of a nap get home or to a place where he can sleep. If you know that he will be cranky without a snack be prepared for that as well. With children this age you need to accomadate their needs as much as possible, especially when it comes to eating and sleeping. My daughter is 2 and a half and I KNOW that before we can go anywhere in the afternoon she needs to nap. She is sleeping now so that we can go have fun later. She also knows and understands this. Toddlers need schedules and routine, and if you stick to them you will have a whole lot less tantrums period!
When a tantrum does occur, take your child out of the area to a calm quiet place, maybe the bathroom or outside or the car. If he doesnt calm down by that, try giving a snack, juice, his pacifier or a teddy or blanket, whatever normally makes him feel safe and happy. If he doesnt want any of that, its probably time to call it a day and go home.
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October 26th, 2008 at 5:00 am
Hey, you should have had my daughter.
First, I talked to my daughter before we went anywhere and explained to her that if she was not good, that I would put her with a sitter.
second, after we got to the store I let her carry around a toy to enjoy while we were in the store. (something cheap) If she was good, I bought the toy for her. If she had a temper tantrum, I took the toy away from her. It did not matter how much she screamed, because I was on my way home.
third, my daughter was famous for throwing herself on the floor and kicking her feet and screaming. So, I sat down with my book a little ways away from her (because she was having this tantrum for my benefit) and watched her, until she was finished. Then we went together away from that spot.
My daughter had these tantrums 3 or 4 times per outings. I cannot help but to thank GOD, that she finally grew out of them, by 3 years of age. Now my daughter is a doctor of psychology and has 4 children of her own.
She called me and apologized and said now she knows what I put up with, with her.
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skye ruby
October 26th, 2008 at 5:34 am
just ignore him and walk away, you are feeding his attention mode when you answer him. Just tell him to stop being silly or you will take his nice things away from him! Your the adult !
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October 26th, 2008 at 6:11 am
well thers not much but u have to spank him.take him into a bathroom and jst hit him lightly or if u hav to spank him like u really mean it.or u can resort to the not really workable method of hitting him on his hand.its really the only way to make them stop if they dont want it to happen again.
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October 26th, 2008 at 6:33 am
Start carrying around pacifiers. When he starts put one in his mouth. Then explain to him what he did was not okay and until he can behave the pacifier will not be removed.
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October 26th, 2008 at 7:06 am
try to not take him out when he is tired wait until he gets his nap in first. but it sounds like you are doing the right thing… keep up the good work….
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October 26th, 2008 at 7:12 am
My daughter, who just turned 3, has just started throwing fits in public, usually at the grocery or other store. It has only happened a few times, but I notice that it always happens when she is tired. (We all know not to take your kids to the store when they're tired, but sometimes you don't have a choice.) Here's what I do:
1. Ignore the bad behavior.
If that doesn't work,
2.Talk to her calmly about what why she is upset (or at least try to).
If that doesn't work,
3. Tell her that her behavior is unacceptable and don't give her lots of attention for it.
If that doesn't work,
4. Leave the store and come back another time. Usually she will be asleep long before we get home, which shows me she was really tired.
It depends on where the tantrum started, though. If the tantrum starts when we are in the check-out line (it usually does because she's bored by that time), I'm more apt to just ignore it and get out of there fast.
I think the most important thing is not to reward her bad behavior by giving her what she wants, or says she wants. It can make things easier but will turn her into a monster. I know this from experience as a child with a relative, who always threw a fit because he knew his mom didn't want to deal with it and would give in to him. His tantrums got progressively worse.
I really just ignore the looks I get from people. It's not like I'm TRYING to ruin their day at Target, or that it's big fun for me!
Oh, by the way, my dd always wants to ride the horsey ride or merry-go-round in the front of the store. And she knows that if she doesn't behave in the store, she doesn't get that treat. It is a bribe? Who knows - who cares? In life (school, work, daily life), you get rewarded for good behavior. Not always, but often enough that it's worked as behavior modification since forever.
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October 26th, 2008 at 7:33 am
throw an ever bigger tantrum to take the attention away from your child
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October 26th, 2008 at 8:00 am
First you LAUGH at him then you walk off. Not far of course but far enough that he thinks you will actually leave him. Trust me I have done this with mine as well as my 5 nieces and nephews. They STOP as soon as the don't think you are watching and don't do again. Or start leaving him home they hate that.
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October 26th, 2008 at 8:37 am
I have a 3 year old and he still to this day has his moments but I learned that most of his tantrums start due to it being my fault only because my son has time limits like we can only be in a restaurant for about an hour because he gets tired and starts to get into things. And when I am in the street and I see other kids having tantrums I see its only because they are tired. It took me some time but I realized if we are going out and will be out for awhile I make sure he is well rested not hungry always have snacks toys and I have my list and I am in and out no looking for deals no window shopping just get what I need and I am out.
If I have to be out longer than expected I do talk to him and tell him mommy is sorry I tried to do this fast but can you hang in a little and I still reward him and let him know mommy is so happy you behaved you get to chose dinner tonight and it is usually jello and french fries.
I just really hate when these kids are spanked in public and its not there fault we want them to behave like adults way to soon they are children and their attention spands are not like ours. I know some adults who have shorter attention spands than my three year old but good luck.
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