My daughter is 7 and she has never learned to go to sleep without a temper tantrum of sorts?
December 2nd, 2008 by adminShe was born a micro preemie and she was held upright for feedings until she was 11/2 so she would not aspirate… My now ex wife and I ended up divorced and it is worse now. I had her broke at three for a month and my ex gave in. Her daytime behavior is normal and she would be considered very considerate. She will not sleep and wakes up during the night. She will wake up in the middle of the night crying in hysterics and then just go to sleep almost if she is in a trance. She is not allergic to anything (tested). She does take pills for her ADD (went from last in her class to 65%) in less than 2 months). This problem was here before the meds. We do not give her sugar, caffeine, watch TV, or stimulate her anytime near her target bedtime. I now have a 2 year old boy that sleeps when I take him to his room. I'm open for any ideas.
I think I would tell your daughter that you read that if a child acts like this at bedtime that the child is overtired and needs an earlier bedtime. So you will have to make her go to bed earlier till she can go at her regular hour without the temper. She might be overtired if she doesn't sleep well. Going to bed after upset might bring on bad dreams. She needs to get more positive about it. It does give her the control if she wants to stay up later she needs to control her mood.
Category: temper tantrum : 
December 3rd, 2008 at 2:08 am
The nighttime awakenings could be due to night terrors. These may be largely out of her (and your) control. Most the times, kids grow out of these. It sounds like this issue is separate from the bedtime refusals/tantrums.
The bedtime refusals/tantrums, however, are behavior issues, and should be treated as such (e.g., rewards for appropriate behavior and consequences for inappropriate behaviors).
Start by having a conversation with your child. Communicate to her clearly that you are all going to work together as a team to conquer this "bedtime challenge", and that you are CONFIDENT that she can do it. Tell her that you are proud of how she is growing up, and that you want to help her in this area of her life.
Then, explain the plan.
Try setting up a simple "star jar". Have her participate by cutting out and decorating a bunch of paper stars (or even get really creative and make them out of shrinky dinks).
Be VERY CLEAR about what is and is not acceptable bedtime behavior. "Acceptable bedtime behavior" includes: zero out-of-bed behavior (with the exception of toileting), zero crying, zero screaming, quiet reading or quiet music until falling asleep is also acceptable.
Start out each week with 7 "stars". She gets an additional star in the jar for every nighttime of appropriate bedtime behavior. A star is removed for every episode of unacceptable bedtime behavior.
Set a weekly goal of 10 stars per week, and increase by 2 stars/week . If the goal is met, a "family celebration" should occur. The family celebration could be a "movie night" with the child choosing the video.
If a simple behavioral intervention (like the above) is not effective in 4-6 weeks, you would be wise to seek the help of a professional (e.g., child psychologist).
Best of luck to you,
~M~
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occupational hazard
December 3rd, 2008 at 2:32 am
Routine, routine, routine. LOL Same steps every night. It helps them gear down. They know whats coming and how long each step takes and when they will be settling into bed.
Here is our routine.
Bath
Brush teeth
Read for 1/2 hr
Cuddle for 10-20 minutes
During our cuddle time we talk about things. Maybe the days happenings, things he is worried about, happy things, silly things.
I hum soft toons in between conversations.All the while I am snuggling him close and petting his hair.
It sounds like she has been through a lot w/ the divorce and having a younger sibling that vyes for your attention. No doubt you are stretched thin and these are probably stressful times for you too. Kids are like sponges they pick up on EVERYTHING.
Children w/ ADHD thrive on routine and consitant disipline. I would recomend reading up about possitive reinforcement and behavior modification. Sometimes w/ the combonation meds are not needed till later in life when they need to concentrate more in school and their workloads are heavier. The meds can stunt growth, so I take mine off of them in the summer till he needs them for school. DO NOT just suddenly take her off them if you choose to because it will cause really bad side effect. (they must be weened)
The rituals for bed time were what I did w/ both my kids. The one w/ ADHD is 16 now. When my 16 yr old was 5 he was diagnosed w/ ADHD. We took him off his meds and did behavior mod w/ lots of possitive reinforcement till he reached 4th grade when he needed the meds to concentrate better in school, still taking him off in the summer.
Sorry so long, I hope this helps. Lisa
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December 3rd, 2008 at 3:21 am
I think I would tell your daughter that you read that if a child acts like this at bedtime that the child is overtired and needs an earlier bedtime. So you will have to make her go to bed earlier till she can go at her regular hour without the temper. She might be overtired if she doesn't sleep well. Going to bed after upset might bring on bad dreams. She needs to get more positive about it. It does give her the control if she wants to stay up later she needs to control her mood.
References :
December 3rd, 2008 at 4:07 am
Want you're child to never throw a temper tantrum again. Every time that she cries out in the middle of the night make her stand in a seperate room of the house. Tell her that bedtime is off and make her stand in a seperate room of the house. Now I'm not unreasonable if she still can't fall asleep after a few months of going in bed in time perhaps time to move bedtime back a little.
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December 3rd, 2008 at 4:17 am
Talk to her Have a set bed time but include her in the decision on what time that will be but leave some room for negotiation.
If she has some control over her bed time she might be more willing to go.
Have a count down before bed like when bed time is approaching say to her 20 mins till bed time would you like to do anything with me before bed read a story or watch a t.v programme. and then count down every 5 - 10 mins. so you say 20 mins till bed time then say 10 mins till bed time lets tidy up 5 mins till bed time are you done 2 mins till bed time OK bed time now lets go and if she goes without a fuss then reward her for it.
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December 3rd, 2008 at 5:06 am
I have a 6 yr old that I babysit for. I also work with kids. The mom wants the child to have a nap in the middle of the day. What a chore I had. Anyway what I did was everyday at the same time of the day I would tell him he had 15 minutes until nap time. Plus I would tell him of the exciting book I had that I was going to read to him.I would make sure he was laying down with his head on the pillow as I read to him.Make sure it is very dark in the room.If he gave me any trouble then I wouldn't read to him.It took a week or so but the routine works. Take her to the store and let her pick out some books that she might like. Make the first couple of books very long.She most likely will fall asleep in the middle of them.Good luck..As for the bad dreams.All u can do is comfort her.
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December 3rd, 2008 at 5:24 am
try this put 3 coins in front of her door b 4 she goes to bed, everytime she comes out or throws a tantrum, take one away, if she is good in the morning she can keep all the coins!! it worked for me, i used pennies though cuz my children are younger
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December 3rd, 2008 at 5:43 am
First of all stop trying to turn your daughter into the same child your son is. They are NOT the same child. Your daughter was born with mega complications and will be totally different than your son for her entire life. The hysterecs she is presenting at night sounds like what toddlers go through with night terrors. Since she was underdevloped at birth she will forever be playing "catch up" with her devlopment this could be one of those things she has just gotten caught up. Since her development is so far behind she is presenting things that most toddlers go through developmentally…you're just going to have to deal with them as they come and stop comparing her to your son, or any other children who were not born with HER complications. She isn't a "normal" 7 year old her devlopment is far behind.
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