In Islam, how can one control their temper?
January 1st, 2009 by adminI dont know how to control my temper and anger. after doing much worship (ibadat) for Allah, and supplications and optional prayer extra prayers, i am not able to control. there r certain situations and circumstances when i m frustrated and my behavior becomes very rude and i use vulgar words, bcoz i cant cool myself. afterwrds i feel sorry for myself. kindly suggest me how i can control my anger…
Anger is one of the evil whispers of Shaytaan, which leads to so many evils and tragedies, of which only Allaah knows their full extent. For this reason Islaam has a great deal to say about this bad characteristic, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) described cures for this "disease" and ways to limit its effects, among which are the following:
(1) Seeking refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan.
(2) Keeping silent.
(3) Not moving.
(4) Following the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
(5) Remembering what Allaah has promised to the righteous.
(6) Knowing the high status and advantages offered to those who control themselves.
(7) Following the Prophet’s example in the case of anger.
(8) Knowing that resisting anger is one of the signs of righteousness (taqwaa).
(9) Listening to reminders.
(10) Knowing the bad effects of anger.
(11) The angry person should think about himself during moments of anger.
(12) Du’aa’.
_____________
Dealing with a bad Temper @ http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/658
________________
Category: temper control : 
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:25 am
As a Muslim, I just read Qur'an. It's very soothing. Pick a surah that mentions heaven and read it. (sorry for my randomness) OR you can watch funny videos! lol once you start laughing you'll forget all about what you were angry about.
EDIT: You said you became angry after worshiping Allah? Care to explain? If this is the case, you might need to ponder a little bit and figure out what religion is right for you (although, I would love it if you stayed Muslim)
Hope this helps~
References :
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:44 am
slappin own's face
References :
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:51 am
Anger is one of the evil whispers of Shaytaan, which leads to so many evils and tragedies, of which only Allaah knows their full extent. For this reason Islaam has a great deal to say about this bad characteristic, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) described cures for this "disease" and ways to limit its effects, among which are the following:
(1) Seeking refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan.
(2) Keeping silent.
(3) Not moving.
(4) Following the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
(5) Remembering what Allaah has promised to the righteous.
(6) Knowing the high status and advantages offered to those who control themselves.
(7) Following the Prophet’s example in the case of anger.
(8) Knowing that resisting anger is one of the signs of righteousness (taqwaa).
(9) Listening to reminders.
(10) Knowing the bad effects of anger.
(11) The angry person should think about himself during moments of anger.
(12) Du’aa’.
_____________
Dealing with a bad Temper @ http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/658
________________
References :
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:16 am
Why dont you follow ahadith as said by Prophet Muhammed Do wudu,or sit,or lie down. Among the benefits of this advice given by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) is the fact that it prevents the angry person from going out of control, because he could strike out and injure someone, or even kill - as we will find out shortly - or he could destroy possessions and so on. Sitting down makes it less likely that he will become overexcited, and lying down makes it even less likely that he will do something crazy or harmful. Al-’Allaamah al-Khattaabi, may Allaah have mercy on him, said in his commentary on Abu Dawud: "One who is standing is in a position to strike and destroy, while the one who is sitting is less likely to do that, and the one who is lying down can do neither. It is possible that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told the angry person to sit down or lie down so that he would not do something that he would later regret. And Allaah knows best." (Sunan Abi Dawud, with Ma’aalim al-Sunan, 5/141)
down.
References :
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:28 am
Fearing Allah
Read Books on hell and Day of Ressurection
Like Read Qiyamat BOoks
and you will fear Allah
Allah is strict in punishment and Most-Kind in Reward
References :
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:08 am
When you feel like you are about to burst. Take a deep breath and count backward 10-1 don't think about what is upsetting you. Drink some water. Medditatate on verses and keep Allah (swt) on your mind. Muhammad p.b.u.h once said "Whoever suppresseth his anger, when he hath in his power to show it, God will give him great reward." No person hath drunk a better draught than that of anger which he hath swallowed for God's sake." And if you have to be alone for a while; when your angry you say a lot of things you don't mean. Read, watch some tv. Try not to set yourself up for situations or get into conversations that you know will upset you.
***Stay strong*** And may Allah bless you for your good intentions ameen.
References :
"He is not strong and powerful who throweth people down; but he is strong who witholdeth himself from anger." - Saying of the prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:44 am
practice self-control of all evil things.
it becomes easier as u keep practicing. then inshaallah it goes away & your options of dealing with problems becomes different.
A'udhu bi'llahi min ash-shaytani'r-rajim
I seek refuge with Allah from the Accursed Shaytan
BISMILLAHI RAHMANI RAHIM
In the name of Allah Most Beneficent Most Merciful
Al-Mumenoon
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful
Successful indeed are the believers (1) Who are humble in their prayers, (2) And who shun vain conversation, (3)
The (faithful) slaves of the Beneficent are they who walk upon the earth modestly, and when the foolish ones address them answer: Peace; (63)
The good deed and the evil deed are not alike. Repel the evil deed with one which is better, then lo! he, between whom and thee there was enmity (will become) as though he was a bosom friend. (34)
Seest thou not how Allah coineth a similitude: A goodly saying, as a goodly tree, its root set firm, its branches reaching into heaven, (24) Giving its fruit at every season by permission of its Lord? Allah coineth the similitudes for mankind in order that they may reflect. (25)
And the similitude of a bad saying is as a bad tree, uprooted from upon the earth, possessing no stability. (26) Allah confirmeth those who believe by a firm saying in the life of the world and in the Hereafter, and Allah sendeth wrong-doers astray. And Allah doeth what He will. (27)
And those who will not witness vanity, but when they pass near senseless play, pass by with dignity. (72) And those who, when they are reminded of the revelations of their Lord, fall not deaf and blind thereat. (73)
And who say: Our Lord! Vouchsafe us comfort of our wives and of our offspring, and make us patterns for (all) those who ward off (evil). (74) They will be awarded the high place forasmuch as they were steadfast, and they will meet therein with welcome and the ward of peace, (75) Abiding there for ever. Happy is it as abode and station! (76)
O ye who believe! Guard your duty to Allah, and speak words straight to the point; (70) He will adjust your works for you and will forgive you your sins. Whosoever obeyeth Allah and His messenger, he verily hath gained a signal victory. (71)
Tell My bondmen to speak that which is kindlier. Lo! the devil soweth discord among them. Lo! the devil is for man an open foe. (53)
These will be given their reward twice over, because they are steadfast and repel evil with good, and spend of that wherewith We have provided them, (54) And when they hear vanity they withdraw from it and say: Unto us our works and unto you your works. Peace be unto you! We desire not the ignorant. (55)
read the Qur'an http://www.quranexplorer.com/quran/
Sami' Allahu liman hamida. Rabbana lakal hamd.
Allah hears all who praise Him. Our Lord, for You is all praise
References :
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:02 am
Salam.In line with hadith of Muhammad pbuh uncontrol temper is caused by syaitans'temptation.One could control well his/her temper by (1)making wudhu and make mandatory prayings plus sunnah prayings (2)making fasting as long as you can afford it (3)making dzikir(remind) to Allah every time (4)reciting al Qur'an everyday (5)saying always alhamdulillah when you are in good condition and be patient when unfavourable condition happened to you
It is better if you decrease to eat meat and avoid alcoholic foods/drinks
and smoking.which will make high blood tension.If it is needed please consult to your doctor maybe you have something wrong
References :
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:51 am
i visualize the Kaabah in my mind. This really helps me alot.
References :
January 2nd, 2009 at 5:01 am
Just think: what would the prophet Mohamed do?
<3333
References :
January 2nd, 2009 at 5:24 am
Take deep breath and say three times slowly
La Elaha illallah Mohammadur Rasoolallah.
All anger will cool down.
References :
January 2nd, 2009 at 5:49 am
Fast and Curb Your Anger
Being irrational and reacting aggressively toward anyone who confronts us is really a very bad habit, because when you reconsider your reaction afterward, you feel guilty and filled with shame because your reaction did not make you feel like a good Muslim at all, especially in Ramadan when you should be trying to tame yourself.
It is usual that people get angry when someone calls them bad names, blames them even if they are wrong, and attacks them verbally or physically. We forget the verse in the Qur'an that says, [Who spend in prosperity and adversity, for those who curb their anger and those who forgive people, and Allah loves the charitable](Aal-`Imran 3:134).
Fasting in Ramadan does not only mean to stop drinking and eating; it means stopping all the bad habits we are used to. It also means that your hands, your eyes, your ears, and your tongue are also fasting, so you have to keep a good eye on your actions and watch yourself before making any mistake, especially being angry.
It was narrated by Abu Hurairah that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "The strong person is not the one who overcomes people by his strength, but the strong person is the one who controls himself while angry" (Al-Bukhari).
This means that controlling your anger needs a lot of strength and is not an easy thing to do.
We feel angry when we lack rest, feel sleepy, hungry, thirsty, or annoyed by someone or something, when the weather is hot, and when we are under physical or emotional stress. All of these reasons are the greatest causes behind people getting angry. At the same time, none of them give us the excuse of being furious with people and having an uncontrollable reaction.
Your Manual to Anger Management
Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) gave us a complete manual of how to control ourselves when we are angry. All of these steps and advice are mentioned in the Qur'an and Sunnah. Here are some of the most important tips that you can follow when you are feeling angry:
1. Be patient and make du`aa'. Almighty Allah says in the Qur'an, [Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find tranquility](Ar-Ra`d 13:28).
Mentioning Almighty Allah and saying hamd (al–hamdu lillah), istighfar (astaghfirullah), and tasbih (subhan Allah), when you get angry, even if you are stuck in traffic or in the middle of a crowd, will calm you down. Also, do not forget your daily remembrances (adhkar) after Fajr and before Maghreb prayers.
When you are feeling angry you should say, "I seek refuge in Allah from Satan the outcast." Even if you have to say it many times while taking deep breaths, it will change your state.
You should also be patient with people who get angry very quickly and try to calm them down. Pray for them and ask Allah the Almighty to guide them to the right way and purify their hearts.
2. Make excuses. Hamdun Al-Qassar, one of the great early Muslims,said, "If a friend among your friends errs, make 70 excuses for them. If your hearts are unable to do this, then know that the shortcoming is in your own selves" (Al-Bayhaqi).
The person whom you fought with or got angry with in the traffic, at work, at a shop, or your neighborhood, may have excuses that you might not have been aware of, like being sick, having bad hearing, or facing a load of problems that make him unaware of his actions.
It is not in people's interest to annoy or harm you on purpose. So do not judge people in a moment of wrath. Always wait until you are calm, be wise, and estimate things in the right way.
3. Good words. Saying good words and painting a soothing smile on your face will calm down any one who is angry, even if it is you!
Hold your tongue, and consider what you are about to say many times before you do and then regret it.
Almighty Allah judges us according to our intentions whether they are good or evil, and also He the Almighty judges our actions and words. So if you cannot say a good word, it is better for you to stop talking and go to another place for a while.
4. Walk away and forgive. If someone has wronged you and that person is angry and does not want to stop, leave that person immediately. Sometimes it is better with certain people not to react, but at the same time do not hold resentment in your heart, just forgive and try to forget.
5. Make wudu' and drink water. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Anger is the effect of Satan, and Satan was created from fire. Water extinguishes fire"
One of the most wonderful solutions is performing ablution and washing your face with cold water. In this way, you will feel refreshed and will definitely cool down.
6. Change your position. If you are angry and you are standing, first thing to do is to sit down. Try changing your position; believe me, it always works.
If you are standing, sit down and if you are sitting down, lie down.
Finally,
References :
from http://www.islamonline.net
January 2nd, 2009 at 6:20 am
Tremendous answer are the above answers… may ALLAH GRANTS US PROSPER….
One of the scientific findings had been told that… in the solat, do the sujud longer than usual… the blood will come to the brain beautifully and nourishes the brain and make you feel fresh. the temper (INSYA ALLAH) will be cooled down.
References :
The professor who did the research….
=)
January 2nd, 2009 at 6:33 am
All of the advice above is excellent, ma sha Allah. In addition, I recommend that everyone recite athkar morning and evening. Athkar is a sunnah. Everyone in our family (even the housekeeper) recites it morning and evening, and we notice a difference in the way the day goes if we omit it.
References :
Jamal Badawi's Book of Dua
http://www.islamicity.com/mosque/prayers/prayers/GeneratedFiles/index.htm
Hisn Almuslim min Athkar Alkitab Wassunah by Saeed Alqahtani
http://free.freespeech.org/sultan/hisnalmuslim.pdf
A collection of dua
http://www.makedua.com/
Athkar (daily dua) Audio Download
http://www.jebril.com/en/doaa_section/daily_athkar.htm
http://www.alafasy.com/en/athkar.html
http://www.jannah.com/learn/supplications.html