If you are wise, you should have to take time to think before you react.

If you are wise, you should have take time to listen before you criticize.

If you are wise, you should have to take time to analyze before you emphasize.

If you are wise, you should have to take to time to lend your ears before you argue.

If you are wise, you should give enough time others to speak before you clarify.

If you are wise, you should give enough time others to clarify before you justify.

If you are wise, you should learn to cultivate yourself as well as practice encouragement instead of discouragement.

If you are wise, you should learn as well as teach yourself to be patient in dealing with people. Remember, you are not dealing with a people of logic but you are dealing with a people of emotions too!

If you are wise, you should learn and teach yourself to manage as well as control your temper.

If you are wise, you should learn to hold as well as manage your tongue not to back fight, criticize, gossip, condemn and insult other people.

Remember criticizing that is a mark of an inferior person. A real wise person has no time in back fighting, criticizing, condemning, gossiping and insulting other people. They are busy in cultivating and improving themselves and helping the lowly ones.

If you are wise, do not snub people. A real wise person did not snub but greet people with a sweet smile.

If you are wise, be honest in giving praises. Do not give a flattering answer or else people will hate and mock at you!

If you are wise, remain humble instead of being proud. Remember, God mocked the proud but He lifted up the humble.

If you are wise, do not praise yourself in front of the people. Let people praise you, not yourself!

If you are wise, you should be careful as well as watchful in your character. For your character will be your only weapon against the bad tongues of negative, toxic people.

If you are wise, be an open-minded person. Remember, there is more hope to the fools than to the close-minded individuals!

If you are wise, you should continue feeding your mind with fresh knowledge and wisdom. Remember knowledge is power. No knowledge, no power!

If you are wise, you should encourage as well as teach yourself to value other people. Remember no man is an Island!

If you are wise, cultivate yourself to have your own originality. I’ve learned and discovered that one of the greatest mistakes of the young people nowadays is a lack of originality!

If you are wise, you should practice being kind to yourself as well as to other people. Always bear in mind that the hardest things to give is kindness, it’s always comes back to the giver!

Finally, if you are wise, cultivate as well as teach yourself to put God in the center and everything will come together.

That’s it!

If You Are Wise!

Wish you many blessings to come and God Bless!

Moises P. Reconalla

Moises Reconalla
http://www.articlesbase.com/coaching-articles/if-you-are-wise-124317.html

You don’t have to have a professional negotiate your debts for you. Simply gather all of the documents that you have relating to the debt you are negotiating.

You have to know where you stand financially before you can negotiate any of your debts. Sit down and create both a budget and a debt repayment plan. You need to know the following things before you talk to the debt collector or credit card company:

How much you can pay to settle the debt.

Whether you are able to pay it all at once or will you need to make payments.

At what point you will not negotiate with the debt collector any further.

Know your rights and the statute of limitations on debt for your state.

Remember, that you have something they want — your money. You are in power here. In most cases, they don’t want to sue you or take the risk that you will file for bankruptcy or demand a cease and desist from them. In most cases, negotiations will work. Stay in control and in power. Don’t lose your cool. Stay calm and stand firm in your decisions.

You have rights that make it impossible for the debt to be collected without going through court. That gives you the upper hand. Don’t be afraid to use it.

When talking with the debt collector:

Don’t offer the full amount you are willing to pay right off the bat. That gives you no room to negotiate, if necessary.

Don’t take no for an answer. You can always ask to speak with a supervisor.

Don’t lose your temper. Call back tomorrow and ask to talk with a manager or supervisor right from the start.

Be firm and don’t offer too much information. What you say can be used against you.

Time is on your side. Don’t be too eager to settle the debt. You are in control. Check and see how close you are to the limitations period.

Keep good notes and follow up your communications with a summary in writing of all conversations. Send them via Certified Mail, Return Receipt Requested so that you have a paper trail. This could be necessary if the case goes to court.

Make sure that you cover how the payment is to be made, when it will be made, where it should be sent. Make sure that both parties agree that the payment does not constitute admission of liability for the debt and that the agreed settlement is in full satisfaction of the debt.

You can ask that the debt be reported to your credit report as deleted. This will ensure that the debt isn’t re-aged to the debt payment date. This would result on the debt being on your report for another seven years. If it won’t be reported as deleted, ask that it be marked as “paid,” not “paid-charge-off” or “paid collection.”

Martin Lukac
http://www.articlesbase.com/debt-consolidation-articles/successfully-negotiate-your-debts-90546.html

I hate how I easily get angry and ticked off, I hate how it makes people hate me! I hate how I easily make enemies because of this problem, but most of all I hate how I cannot be close to my mother because we both have this problem. Before I fix my mother's problem I have to fix mine, I don't have drinking problems, I do not do drugs, I'm only 17 years old. I get really mad to the point it really gives me a very painful headache that makes me cry… I really need help…
You may or may not have a medical problem at the root of your feelings and outward behavior. You can make adjustments to your feelings and the way you react to others. You may think that someones opinion is wrong, you may think your opinions are right. Get used to the fact that most people have opinions and want to think they are right. The next time you feel angry at someone or at some occurrence, remember what they say and just acknowledge them by saying something like "I see" or "that's interesting" and let it pass. If they persist with the issue that's stirring you up, you can go for a walk and separate yourself from a potential outburst or conflict. As you walk or have time to reflect on what was said to anger you, think about if the subject has any real weight in your life and is it in your control? Chances are it hasn't and you don't. We have little control over what others say and do. Pick your battles carefully- walk away from most fights and save your emotional energy for better things and issues which are really important in the big picture. You are in charge of you emotions and feelings- nobody can "make you feel" anything, you either let yourself feel it, ignore it or change the way you react to things that happen and are said. My mother was a very negative person, and would search for arguments with everyone. I learned eventually to let her think she was always right in her opinions- if she got the facts wrong and I could find real evidence to the contrary then I might correct her, but I learned to let go. There is a Zen principle to help you stay calm and can diminish stress and conflict in your life-
That is "To Win by Losing" (lose the battles that really aren't important)
Be patient with the idiots and egotistical jerks in your life, or create some distance if you can. 2 of the greatest tools to ward off jerks are #1. to ignore them & #2. Just smile and say nothing! good luck, I hope this was helpful!

Having problems controlling your anger can seriously change your life and the lives of those around you. If you don’t want to be responsible for this massively negative change then this article was written just for you. Uncontrollable anger callously rips through families and communities throughout the world on a daily basis - don’t let it rip through your family next. If you need help - then get it and get it today! If you suffer from what seems to be uncontrollable anger or rage, it might be the right time to make the decision and take control and put it behind you today.

I have meet people who left their anger unchecked and let it get as far as physical violence that ended up in them losing everything. They lost their lover, their friends, their house and their freedom as the courts don’t look very favourably on this type of behaviour. Now that I have your attention, let me explain how you can get out of the trap of uncontrollable anger. However first of all I want you to make the commitment to use the information that I am about to share with you to get results and get your anger under control for the sake of your family, love ones and for yourself.

I have tremendous success in helping people to manage their anger with the use of two techniques that may intrigue you. I have my clients use hypnosis and self hypnosis. These techniques have come on a long way over the past few years are now both extremely viable approaches to get successful results for many issues that individuals may have - this includes anger issues! So why does hypnosis work and what do you need to do next?

Hypnosis works simply by reprogramming the part of the brain that we call the subconscious mind. It is this part of your mind that processes all of the information that leads you to feel that your buttons are being pressed and that ultimately leads to episodes of anger and rage. Hypnosis gives your other ways to deal with situations in which you would normally lose your temper. In fact it helps you to get the best possible results in these situations by helping you to communicate effectively and get your point across in a way that will be accepted and understood by the person that you are talking to.

If you are serious about controlling your anger and you are wise and astute enough to take my advice then I would recommend that you go now and get a hypnosis download or recording so that you can prove just how serious you are by starting today. You have nothing to prove to me, however everything to prove to yourself and everyone that loves and cares for you.

It’s your decision - will you still suffer from uncontrollable anger in the future or will you make the conscious choice to change today?

Richard MacKenzie
http://www.articlesbase.com/advice-articles/anger-management-keep-it-or-lose-it-you-decide-137679.html

Conservatory Sales And Advice - Advice On Buying A Conservatory - Advice On Planning And Buying

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We also can help with �conservatory ceiling and wall blinds to reduce glare, temper extreme temperatures, add privacy and furnish your conservatory.� We specialize in the �Great range of top quality bespoke conservatory blinds. These come as manual or remote control operated. In our opinion they are the best blinds at the best prices with a very wide range of designs

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A well maintained conservatory will give you years of trouble free service. It’s often one of the largest household investments and the focal point of your home. We recommend Conservatory Makeover’s products and services. They are specialists in looking after conservatories and can clean and revive old dirty grey conservatories to look almost new again. Keeping a conservatory roof clean requires specialist equipment. With Conservatory Makeover’s moss and lichen cleaning service they can reach up to 60ft with their specialist equipment and in most cases they do not need to use scaffolding.All types of repairs and maintenance are carried out including replacement of roofs, sealed units, fault hinges, door and window locks and the inevitable leaking conservatory roof. Conservatory Makeover operates in South East England and under a franchise system in other parts of the UK and probably has a fully trained licensee very near you.

In addition to conservatory cleaning we off under floor heating of conservatories. Conservatory Makeover offer advice on, supply and installation of under floor heating for your conservatory.

Sameer Shinde
http://www.articlesbase.com/home-improvement-articles/conservatory-adviceconservatory-blinds-and-maintenance-service-123128.html

It is Friday. You woke up, went to the kitchen, and poured some orange juice into a glass. Your week has been very productive so far, and today’s weather is particularly conducive to a good mood. To enhance that positivity, tomorrow the weekend will begin and you have some interesting travelling plans. You walk towards the door and grab the latest edition of the newspaper from your footpath. Ten seconds later, your facial expression has changed, your muscles have become tense, and your head feels a bit radiated. You have read that an innocent young man was murdered last night without any particular motive. You feel angry.

What is Anger?

Anger is a common part of our lives. Everyday we experience varied sorts of frustrations which derive both from ourselves and from external sources. In the previously cited scenario, feelings of anger would have been developed for many reasons, but they are all common to the fact that it was a situation that opposed your core convictions. Although you did not burst into tears or destroy the glass of orange juice sitting on the table – the emotion was there. You may ask yourself: “But I don’t know this person, so why do I care?”

The answer to this question is not as clear as the emotion you felt, and nor is it simple – but there are some leads. Let’s take a journey into the complex psychological mechanisms that produce this controversial (and mostly misunderstood) emotion.

The Physiological Framework

Fear, stress and anger are closely related processes. In previously published articles, we’ve discussed several mechanisms that create stress, and their natural purpose. In a nutshell, the Hypothalamus (region of the brain responsible for controlling the Autonomic Nervous System) identifies a stressor (which could be any event – such as a noise) and automatically prepares the body to react to that stressor. This is done through sending signals to both the ANS and the limbic system – which in turn, activate a ‘response mechanism’ by stimulating body organs to change their regular activity. The outcomes are increased blood pressure, sugar levels, heart rate and redirection of the blood to selected organs. This is the process which creates stress, or the ‘stressed physical state’. Both fear and anger are based on the incidence of stress.

In general, once the body has reached its stressed (‘ready for fight or flight’) condition, it is our interpretation of the event which will denominate the emotion of fear or anger. The pre-cortex, responsible for decision-making, will send messages to other parts of the brain and the following reactions will be based on its decisions. For this reason, some researchers attest that every state of anger is a result of fear. In detailed physical terms, anger invokes a reaction in which the skin temperature and electrical conductance are increased (the ‘firing sensation’) whilst the opposite occurs when fear is established (the ‘cold sweat sensation’).

All these body responses are biologically designed for survival. There is no evidence that anger per se is hazardous to the human body – the problem lies in the expression of anger, and how easily people get angry (it has been previously stated that excessive stress causes physical harm to the body).

For more information on the physiological basis and outcomes of stress, visit the AIPC Library (www.aipc.net.au/articles) and search for the article ‘Dealing with Stress’.

The Sociological Framework

The perspective on anger has changed over time. The initial societal approach to analysing this issue originated in the principles of several different religions and their particular codes of conduct. In three religions – Buddhism, Islam and Christianity – the view towards anger and violence were never favourable. Buddhists consider it one of the five major negative states (also known as hindrances or nivarana) which directly oppose the way to enlightment. The Islamic religion believes anger is a sign of weakness and an undesirable feeling, whilst early Christianity considered it one of the Seven Deadly Sins.

Science has also played its role in defining the perspective on anger. Before Sigmund Freud, most scientists believed that there was no direct biological disposition for the expression (and emotion) of anger. At the end of the 19th century, Freud proposed that individuals were born with an innate aggressive instinct – which when neglected would instigate hostility and aggressive behaviour. This proposition was disregarded in 1988 when the American Psychological Association and the American Anthropological Association reviewed several research papers and concluded there was no clear indication that anger was genetically predisposed. After the human genome was mapped and other scientific advances were accomplished, however, such perspective towards anger began to shift again.

Nowadays, despite the biological or sociological premise of anger, the expression of this emotion is regarded as a highly negative trait in most societies. People that are prone to ‘explode’ are less capable of forming healthy relationships with others, and usually develop a ‘bad image’. Workplaces and social environments commonly object to violence and are intolerant to rage. However, there are some cultures in which violence is a common part of people’s lives – usually in developing countries where there is a significant gap between social standards which cultivates hatred between different layers of society.

Most researchers agree that violent expressions of anger commonly result from ‘behaviour modelling processes’. Children from violent domestic environments tend to behave like their violent parent(s) – and, most of the time, this occurs because they assume it is the appropriate or ‘normal’ way to express their angry emotional state. Violence and anger are also related with situations where being aggressive results in power and social recognition (or perceived respect). Many bullies (particularly male children) act violently upon others to gain status as the alpha male of the group, or simply to express their fears and frustrations by shifting attention and blaming external sources for their personal problems. As previously stated – anger and fear are closely related emotions.

The Bright Side of Anger

If anger is a natural response of the body, why should we oppose it? Being angry is a synonym of being healthy and lively – as much as stress works in the same way. People that express no anger are usually incapable of standing up for themselves, achieving important goals or surpassing difficult obstacles. Anger is not only part of human nature, but also beneficial to the existence of humanity.

Put yourself in the first scenario again: imagine if you felt nothing when you read that newspaper. Anger enables individuals to quickly create an emotional scale which is directly related to their ethical principles and to the avoidance of pain and particular experiences which have resulted in negative outcomes in the past. It is similar to stress defensive mechanisms. If we are completely numb towards something which is totally opposite to our ideals, we are likely to accept it, and as a result, not develop drive and passion towards our most desired goals in life.

The presence of fear, anger and stress helps create the alertness and readiness required to react to the environment. But the decision-making process plays a very important role in how anger will reflect in our behaviour. Most people tend to associate anger with the actual aggressive responses that may follow it. Being angry does not necessarily mean attacking someone or breaking something. Generally there are two types of behavioural responses to anger:

(1) Active responses (fighting, screaming, breaking objects, etc) and;

(2) Passive responses (retreating, sulking, showing hostility or tension, etc).

The actual response cannot really be classified in terms of good and bad - but the intensity and duration of the response, along with the individual’s anger threshold (how easy it is to make a person angry), are the main determinants of an unhealthy anger-responsive behaviour. So if you often get angry with minor problems or situations, or you are unable to control your ‘temper’, or you often get extremely angry about something but simply ‘take it’ and walk away (and then develop hatred) – you may want to consider anger management. Furthermore, the propensity to experience anger can also be increased in particular (and inevitable) situations such as: menopause, PMS, birth, withdrawal (physical), bipolar disorder, etc.

The Dark Side of Anger

If you fit the description in the last paragraph, or know someone that does, there are many options for controlling anger responses in order to have a productive and healthy life. Anger Management has become a popular topic in the last decade. If you type in ‘Anger Management’ on Google, you will find over 31 million pages on the subject and, along with them, numerous strategies and approaches to combat this ‘dark side of the force’. It is important to note that anger and stress directly affect both psychological and physical health in a normal person – therefore it needs to be considered as a ‘real’ threat. Furthermore, it also has a very negative effect in the societal bonds that an individual may have, or could potentially gain.

Counsellors use various approaches in helping clients manage anger. The goal of anger management is to reduce both emotional and physiological arousal that anger causes. Like previously noted, you cannot constantly avoid or change every person, thing or situation which causes anger, but you can learn to control the reactions to them. ‘Letting it out’ or ‘releasing the bad energy’ is not a practical way to get rid of the problems which arise from anger: imagine if a person punches someone or something every time they are angry? This is a practice that is not physically or socially acceptable.

One of the main strategies used by counsellors is relaxation. Relaxation techniques such as imagery, meditation and breathing can assist with controlling feelings of anger and a tendency to violence. Cognitive restructuring provides the client with the opportunity to create a positive mindset towards the world. Using rational thinking and logic, clients aim to ‘defeat’ anger and replace explosive and anti-social behaviour with reflective actions. If you do not believe, ask Anthony Robbins: “Using the power of decision gives you the capacity to get past any excuse to change any and every part of your life in an instant”. Simple, yet effective.

Various other strategies include: changing the environment (when it is really inappropriate), using humour (silly humour can be a great substitute for anger), avoiding certain situations (there are some avoidable situations which can be, well, avoided), and improving communication (sometimes the core source of anger is plain miscommunication).

In the end, the objective is to provide the individual with tools he or she will use to become a person who can manage their anger – from their perspective and within the social context.

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Pedro Gondim
http://www.articlesbase.com/psychology-articles/the-word-anger-139860.html

During a deep discussion someone close to me revealed that they were unable to forgive themselves for some things they had done. They knew it was preventing them from moving forward with their dreams, but they had absolutely no idea how to get past it. Watching someone you love suffer is awful, and worse if you are witnessing needless suffering. It got me to thinking about the purpose of guilt and how to help someone, even myself, to move into a place of forgiveness.

All of us have something to forgive.

We each have something or someone to forgive…I hear it all the time in my work. Whether it’s small stuff like a thoughtless comment, or a pet who got sick on the rug, or following a slow car that made you late (the nerve!)…to the colossal things like a trusted friend who lied to you and hurt you, or the mother who refuses to let you live your own life, or the driver who fell asleep and cost you something precious. Maybe it’s wishing you hadn’t lost your temper, or your self control, or a time you regret being spiteful or impatient. Perhaps it’s wishing you had been somewhere one minute earlier, or had listened to that advice.

Life happens.

But truth be told, we all have something to forgive because life is always happening - especially when we’re not ready. There will always be opportunities to deal with situations that test us. In each event, we bring our humanness to the table and do the best we can in that moment. Ready or not, the sun will rise today, and ready or not, it will set today. In between, the wind may blow, the rain may fall, and the light may shine…all simultaneously, depending on where you are. Stuff happens.

Guilt makes martyrs.

A wise woman healer I know said that “the only function of guilt is to prevent you from taking action.” Simply put: Guilt makes martyrs. It takes away your power and makes you a victim. Guilt and shame are thieves stealing the life you were born to live. It’s misdirected energy aimed at keeping you weak.

Are you a victim or a victor? Choosing to keep yourself in the suffering and tormented place means you remain a victim. No bravery is required. This is actually not a hard choice for anyone already used to pain, because if you don’t know what it’s like to live without pain - be it physical, emotional, mental or spiritual, then on some level you are always seeking to recreate it. Victims and martyrs love pain. Victors choose peace.

Guilt exposed!

Lets be clear here. I am NOT saying that we shouldn’t feel responsible for our actions or become heartless. I am talking about using regret in a proactive way to navigate to a healing place. Guilt’s chief function is to create immobilization, inaction, pain, suffering, and martyrdom. I am saying that if you are letting personal guilt drive the vehicle of your life then you are not allowing yourself to take action and responsibility. This is about learning new tools and using the actions of the past to create a better now and a better future.

Action is courage.

Real bravery is going back to face the thing (either literally or in your heart) that you have previously done and being wiling to do it better than before. So whenever it’s possible, make amendments to those you may have hurt - including yourself! Living with an attitude that you are going to do better every day from here forward takes real courage. Action is courage!

How do you forgive yourself?

You make a choice to, no different than an alcoholic or addict chooses sobriety. You do it one day at a time, one moment at a time. You choose to take action every day and live your life up to the standards of what you now know you want. Face your fears head-on by taking positive action for a new outcome. Give yourself your FULL blessing to do better in each new moment and to stop suffering about things you did in the past. If you really want to feel better, than use your energy for doing what you can right now to show your positive changes in thinking. If you were previously unkind, then be kind now, previously thoughtless, be thoughtful now and so on. Walk your talk. That’s how living in ‘The Light’ works!

The truth will set you free.

This is how alcoholics and addicts go back to reclaim their kids, their jobs, their wives and their lives successfully every single day. They do a fearless moral inventory, go to those they have hurt or wronged when possible and give a sincere apology or amendment as an act of acknowledgement and a step of forgiveness for themselves. Guilt is no different. If you can make a heartfelt apology, do it. Take action and don’t delay. If you cannot because the person/situation isn’t available, then try writing a ceremonial letter of truth, or making a symbolic donation as acts of release and self healing. Promise to do better. Set it free.

Forgiving is not the same as forgetting.

Remember forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Part of taking care of yourself is knowing how to forgive and make discerning choices. A discerning choice means that you remember the past enough to adjust your course and avoid any ‘holes in the sidewalk’ if you see them again. If you have hurt someone they may need evidence that the ‘holes in your sidewalk’ have been patched. Your evidence is your commitment to do better each time that you realize you can, and to promptly act on it.

As you know better, you do better.

If you still can’t get beyond your past choices or behaviors, ask yourself to honestly answer this: At the time which that event(s) took place, given the information, attitude, climate, environment, precipitating factors, and everything else…did you at that time do the best you could given what you were working with? Chances are, in all honesty, the answer is ‘yes.’

What did I learn and how can I grow from this?

Answer these questions from the highest place of love. If you are STILL feeling hard on yourself, then ask what you would say to a child who had made a mistake. Would you continue to abuse them, punish them, embarrass them, berate them, belittle them, withhold love and joy from them, or make them feel awful because of their past choice? Of course not! You would forgive them and then take them by the hand and help them by asking about what other choices they might choose if something like this ever came up again. You would leave them in a state of love, action and empowerment. You would help inspire them to feel like they are learning positive things (not guilt and shame) and growing and becoming stronger because of it.

News flash!

Regardless of your age, you are that child! And you deserve to be treated the same!

Hindsight is always 20-20.

We’ve heard the expression countless times, but think about it. Looking back in the benefit of hindsight, without duress, and with the light of illumination, anyone could create a list of ’shoulda, woulda, coulda’s’…but the only point that would serve is to help you adjust how you behave right NOW. The past is gone. The only place your power ever exists is in this moment, and if you spend all your present moments punishing yourself about the past then you are inactive (guilt driven), and continuing to steal power from yourself and hurt yourself. Use your hindsight to empower you. Make choices in the present moment that honor you, love you and respect you and those you love. Remember you did then what you knew then. As you know better now, you do better now. Period.

Suffering in your suffering.

Stop wounding yourself further. Get a grip. Once you start to punish yourself sometimes you can’t stop. Then suffering begets more suffering. It’s like sleep walking….WAKE UP! Your life is wasting!

Quit stealing from yourself.

A person who can’t forgive also can’t dream, because that person is busy looking at the past rather than at their future. If you are busy looking in your rear view mirror all the time, you can’t see where you want to go. Remember that great old adage: ‘the wake is not what drives the boat, the wake is what is left behind the boat.’ Don’t let the guilt, shame and pain of your past rob you of the opportunity you have in every moment to do it better, to do it differently. Be the captain of your boat and the good driver of your life.

Focus.

The very thing that you seek to not have (pain) is the thing you keep having! Which makes perfect sense when we apply the laws of both metaphysics and quantum physics, because The Universe will say ‘yes’ to whatever it is we focus on the most. Focus on can’t, and you can’t. Focus on will, and you shall.

Decide. Act. Leap.

Decide to live in the present moment each day and do your best to monitor your actions and choices so that you don’t slip back into an old pattern and cause pain to yourself or others. The moment you realize you just made a bad choice, stop what you are doing and correct course. It’s simple. That’s what people of character do. They continuously learn and adjust (they weren’t just born that way you know!). Whenever you realize you are off course, speak up and correct it. The quicker you do it, the quicker the peace comes. Every day that you complete using this is a day filled with empowerment. Let who you are in the ‘now’ say more about anything that can ever said about you in the past.

Can’t I just learn to live with my guilt and hope to become okay with never having what I want or risk hurting anyone again?Sure, if you want to live the life of a martyr in a pain-filled existence never knowing healing, love, joy or peace. But no matter how long, or what you try to medicate yourself with…like distractions of work, addictions, avoidance, etc., you will never really be able to numb out far enough. So love yourself enough not to sign up for such a hellish existence - where you are essentially frozen in the time of your tragedy.

Is it really this easy?

Yes. It IS if a person is WILLING to live in a state of peace instead of pain. Some people prefer the familiarity of pain and suffering because they fear the unknowns of peace and forgiveness. Maybe they have never had real forgiveness before…but that doesn’t mean that they can’t claim it now! God gives it freely to all of us. In my 40 plus years on the planet, I’ve never heard of anyone who let go of all their guilt, found the peace of forgiveness, and then said that they regretted it. Not one single person!

Find the blessing and embrace it!

What if the very thing that you are having trouble forgiving is actually a HUGE blessing in disguise? Like when being fired actually gave you a chance to relocate and meet your spouse. Or how in losing your own self control you found new respect and compassion for someone you formerly judged for doing the same thing. What if the ‘tragedy’ of your actions has somehow helped to save the lives of others? Look hard, look deep, and find what you can honestly say is a POSITIVE lesson that you are grateful that this situation has taught you. There is always at least one. Find it and feel truly grateful!

The future is created now.

Remember, being unforgiving of something or someone, even ourselves, is a form of self abuse. It’s like saying that you want to keep replaying the pain of that experience over and over and over again. It’s stealing from yourself. No new and good thing can come in because there isn’t any room for it until you let it go. You don’t have to know ‘how,’ you don’t even have to ‘get it.’ You simply have to be in a place where you are willing to allow some new thinking in. And when you do so, there is room for God’s grace to enter, room for healing, peace, love, joy, and freedom.

Forgiveness is an act of faith and self love. And, yes, an act of Divine calling on the Divinity inside each one of us…that we absolutely deserve the chance to do better.

Namaste.

Laura Scott
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-improvement-articles/can-you-afford-not-to-forgive-138194.html

National TV-turnoff began on April 23rd. I started to notice something: much of these efforts to curtail the influx of media and consumerism is directed at the young minds – school-going innocents who need to be protected. What about the adults who curl up in front of the box with impunity and watch with indemnity?

There is a common tendency to perceive the problems associated with the media’s influence, particularly television and the Internet, as pertinent only to children. We feel compelled to protect our kids and somehow think that we adults are immune. Alternatively, we imagine that adults have lost that special innocence anyway and so it seems there’s nothing left to protect. We’ve been tainted already, so what difference would it make to taint us further?

However you look at it, this notion of non-applicability is a fallacy. Turning a certain age does not grant us a license to slacken and succumb to all the lures that pulse around us. For many, becoming an adult means becoming exempt from discipline as though we have “served our time” as a child and now its time to “have fun.” Children are suffering through basic training and the adults are sitting in the officers’ lounge.

Even if your concern is not for yourself and only for your child, bear in mind that the best training children can get is to witness discipline in their parents. Children learn best by osmosis, the unspoken principles exhibited by their parents’ behavior, the way their parents speak, the way they conduct themselves under pressure, how focused they are, how they control themselves, how closely they stick to their goals. Children who are expected to behave in a focused, dignified manner will be confused, at best, by their parents’ unfocused, undignified manner.

But wait, you object. You can’t lump kids and adults into the same category. Adults know how to handle the media, sort through the jumble, control themselves, temper the invasion, filter the information, employ common sense and…. Yeah. Right!

If you read the supermarket tabloids (which you shouldn’t) you will find ample evidence to the contrary. It has always amused me, in fact, that from a legal standpoint, when the clock strikes twelve on the eve of our eighteenth birthdays, something magical is supposed to happen. While we might not be expected to turn into pumpkins, we are expected to turn into mature people capable of weathering exposure to indecent material with minimal fallout. A day earlier we were deemed vulnerable and corruptible, and a day later we are deemed “safe”? Of course Nobody qualifies from the school of sexual desire, simply because life is that school, and the only way to qualify, really, is to not have life anymore.

Just because the mind and soul are not visible, does not mean we should ignore all the spiritual junk food and mind clutter we consume on a daily basis. We are surrounded constantly by beckoning images and ideas which promise us the world, and the reality is we cannot sort the truth from the hype - what is good for us and what is in actuality a narcissistic pursuit.

With all the contemporary craziness about physical health, MSG, carbs and exercise, it is a wonder that metaphysical caution is aimed only at the pre-K generation. Will we ever own up to our recalcitrance, or will we continue to pass the baton to the babies?

Yitzchak Goldman
http://www.articlesbase.com/television-articles/oh-my-kids-need-guidancenot-me-138140.html

Thousands of people have gone through divorce, so you are not the only one. Divorce is not the end of your life, it is just the end of a marriage. You have other things that you need to focus on, rather than you marriage. If you have children for example, this is a great time to start focusing on them more.

Many people will find that it is hard to let go of their feelings during a divorce. They become angry and feel like they will lose control at any moment. Don’t forget that there are thousands of people who feel this way. What you need to do is to seek therapy to help you control your temper and feelings of rage. This way you’ll learn how to get along with your ex partner for the sake of the children.

After divorce, you may find that your self-esteem is completely gone. The most important step for rebuilding your esteem after divorce is to let go. You must place the past in the past and start to think about how you can improve the way you feel about yourself.

Never beat yourself down. It is not your fault, it’s not anyone’s fault, perhaps you just had a bad relationship. Don’t think about the past – think about the future. Learn to use positive words to describe your personality (like smart, attractive, aspirational, etc). You image of yourself will effect your life very much. Sometimes it’s better to be on your own and follow your own path, rather than following someone else. Your self-esteem will rise because you are an independent person.

One the most important lessons that you will learn from divorce is you are much stronger than you think. Going though all that you have, you will become a stronger individual. Now, you will be able to handle situations that you usually wouldn’t think you could handle. Divorce definitely makes you stronger.

Pax Shumway
http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/how-to-rebuild-your-life-after-divorce-123322.html

I sometimes find myself in a situation where I am very angry whilst at school and I struggle to find a way to calm down. I can be angry for hours afterwards. But i don’t know how to cool down any ideas?

I’m a teacher, and have a student with a similar problem. I sat down to talk with her one day, and we decided that if she just let me know where she was going, she could take a breather from class for a couple of minutes if she needed to. Every once in a while she will get frustrated, and just take a walk around the school, go to the bathroom, or go sit in another teacher’s classroom for a few minutes to cool off. It has helped tremendously. Maybe you can speak to your teachers and work out something like this?