I have got quite a violent temper which I find diffucult to control, does anyone know any good websites where I can find some advice on how to control my temper

NO DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, guess I need this, too.

You can just go to YAHOO search engine and type in ‘anger management.’ It should give you some information to start with.

When I get mad I explode and I need help on ignoring people and block things that get me mad.

Laugh ! ! ! I might do something that goes awry and when I see that it happened, I laugh about it, because it was something I did that wasn’t very smart,but I can always fix it.

If someone insults me, I laugh. that really turns the situation around and that person usually gets mad, because he/she insulted me to get me mad about something and it didn’t work.

Hi,
I have a really short temper. When someone does one thing that upsets me, I get really angry. But I know this isn't right. So I want to know some ways on how to control my temper.
Any tips?

~Wolf

studies have shown that hitting stuff or yelling out your anger will make you feel better pretty quick but only make your temper worse in the long run. i've found that the best way to control your temper in the long run is meditate at least 1/2 an hour a day, get good exercise and eat right. stay away from red meat, caffiene and too much sugar. Try to stay positive. Think about the good qualities of the person that's made you mad or thing good things surrounding the situation that's pissed you off. Meditation is the most important thing. This is coming from a guy who had a doctor take his blood pressure when he was ten because my temper was so bad. Now I'm one of the most mellow people I know.

I've been really prone to arguments lately, and some little things set me off. I'm pissing off friends and family, and i can't control myself. Even my boyfriend is getting tired of listening to me…..

Find something you can focus on when you'd get mad. Like, find a rock and rub your thumb against it or use a stress ball. Just something to focus that energy on besides the argument. Try to explain your perspective more calmly by focusing on something else at first.

Or, have something to do with your mind. Count to 10, list the countries of Africa, whatever makes you think but not too hard…

Basically think of something else and get your mind cleared out before confronting anyone. Also, think about if it's worth it to point out or argue your point to someone…

I don't know my temper but I get really irritated inside my head and it bugs the hell out of me. And I always get irritated with people who love and care for me. What is my problem? I want to be nice and do things for my loved ones willingly but I feel nothing but annoyed. Now I don't show it but I feel so HEATED inside my head. What can I do to control this?

hi there,

you have to ask yourself the following questions:

1. what thoughts are in your mind when you start to feel annoyed?
2. why do you feel annoyed at your loved ones?
3. what is bothering you inside?

remember just because you FEEL irritated doesn't mean you have to ACT irritated…….your feelings can play tricks on you, when you feel irritated, stop, breathe, and ask yourself ok, WHY do i feel irritated right now? what happened today that im mad about? what happened yesterday or the day before?

Try to pinpoint what is irritating you or annoying you, say you are mad at something that happened at school or work, or you had a fight with a friend, you have to separate it from your home life……..you take a deep breath and say ok i am irritated, annoyed at this and that……but i love my family and although i feel this feelings inside doesn't mean i have to act on them………

before you say or do something hurtful, breathe and play it out in your head the consequences and how bad you will feel…….

also how irritated are you on a scale of 1-10, give it a number, ok on a scale of 1-10 im really feeling irritable and annoyed about a 9, but i dont want to feel this way, i am going to put on some happy music, go for a long brisk walk, watch a funny movie, watch funny vid's on youtube………after you do some that, now what is the number ?

realizing you have temper problems is the first step, at least you admit it!!! you have the courage to want to change and that's a great thing!!

good luck !!!!

and what do i do when he explodes..?!

You do not "handle" someone who can't control his temper. They must "handle" or rather "control" themselves. If they do not control themselves, then you should get yourself as far away from them as you can get so that when they do "explode", you will not be the one to get burned.

What do you do when he explodes? If he engages in any illegal behavior such as laying a single finger on you in a aggressive manner, throwing objects at you, making verbal threats to physically harm you, you call the police, have him arrested, and get a restraining order to prevent him from coming within x number of feet from you in future. If he tries to come around again, you call the police to have him arrested for violating that restraining order. If he is not yet at the point where he is breaking the law, then you look him straight in the eye and tell him that you deserve to be treated with respect and you will not tolerate this behavior ONE MORE SECOND. Then you either walk out the door yourself, or hold it open and invite him to leave. Tell him firmly that he knows where to find you when he has gotten himself under control and can behave in a civilized fashion.

The term for someone who tolerates physical or emotional abuse is "co-dependent". By accepting and not confronting this behavior, you send a message to the abuser that this behavior is acceptable. Abusive behavior tends to get worse over time. A bruise may become a broken arm or a choking incident. Insults may give way to threats to kill you. Both you and the abuser will be better off if the cycle is interrupted before he does something that can get him thrown in prison.

Sunk costs are usually defined as previously incurred costs that are not recoverable and should not be taken into account in decision making. Here is a slightly modified example of a sunk cost from Jerold Zimmerman’s “Accounting for Decision Making and Control” (Irwin McGraw-Hill):

Example. Abadabba Berman, the comptroller of the Schultz Cement Shoe Company, has contracted with Microstiff to design a proprietary accounting software package for the company at a cost of $15,000. After months of dealing with countless glitches and bugs the system just barely works. Finally one of the frustrated bookkeepers points out to Abadabba that for only $2,000 they could purchase an off the shelf package from Quickcrooks that would generate all the reports that the more expensive system provides with a fraction of the aggravations and crashes. Abadabba cannot bring himself to invest the additional $2,000 in the replacement system even though the company will easily save that much and more in the improved productivity of the accounting department. Abaddaba reasons that they have too much invested in the old accounting system to simply abandon it.

Abaddaba should consider the past investment in the expensive Microstiff software a sunk cost. He should ignore the past investment in deciding whether to abandon the software and replace it with the Quickcrooks package. According to cost accounting theory the only relevant costs to consider are the future costs associated with each option. If retaining the Microstiff software is more expensive going forward than buying the Quickcrooks package then the Microstiff software should be abandoned. The previous heavy investment in Microstiff should not be a consideration in making his decision.

Loss Aversion: Why Abaddaba Won’t Let Go of Microstiff

According to cost accounting theory Abaddaba’s choice to hold on to Microstiff is irrational. The best choice for the company is to abandon the software, not keep it. Now of course, the irrational choice for the company may be a very rational choice for Abaddaba personally. Why? Because the boss of the company, Dutch Schultz, has a notoriously bad temper and Abaddaba does not want to face Dutch’s wrath when he tells him that he made a $15,000 mistake going with Microstiff. So from Abaddaba’s perspective it is rational to cover his rear and stick with the bad software.

But this is not really the full story because even if Abaddaba was the owner of the firm the odds are that he would still make the irrational choice to stick with the crummy software. Why? Because he, like all of us, tends to be very reluctant to accept losses. Abaddaba’s failure to treat the prior investment as irrelevant is a species of a very common behavioral trait known as loss avoidance.

Varieties of Loss Aversion

For most people losses loom larger than gains. The pain we feel from a loss generally outweighs the pleasure we feel from a comparable gain. This is what the social scientists term loss aversion. Variations of loss aversions are common place in business and investing. For example, investors are, as a rule, much quicker to realize gains than losses. This is the reason why automatic stop loss orders are implemented when buying stock. An automatic stop loss triggers a sale when a stock investment’s price drops to a certain point. It is automatic and commonly used because it is the all too human trait of loss aversion that often keeps people from cutting their losses. The tendency is for people to hold on to losers in the hopes that the loss will reverse.

Real World Decisions

In the above example all the consequences of the different courses of action were specified. I told you what the dollar consequences of keeping the old software versus buying new software would be. Rarely in real world situations do we have precise dollar estimates for the results of different courses of action. The tendency to stick with losers, and thus not cut our losses, can be reinforced by the ambiguity surrounding real world decisions. If you are in a position of being emotionally invested in a bad decision, the tendency will be for you to filter out and skew data that would support abandoning the course of action you are invested in.

Practical Advice on Dealing with Sunk Costs and Loss Aversion

First recognize that there is no way to detach yourself emotionally from the consequences of important decisions that you have made. Recognizing that you have made a poor important decision is always going to be painful. What you can do is recognize that you have an emotional investment in your decisions and seek the advice of individuals who are not so emotionally invested. These individuals are less likely to filter out information that might call for abandoning a bad investment.

So who can you consult with about important decisions? If you are a small business owner it is important to have an outside advisor. Outside accountants, Small Business Extension Center staff, or volunteers from S.C.O.R.E are all good possibilities that will not break your budget. Trade or business associations often have staff available for advice on business operations. Also do not overlook the web as a possible resource of good advice. Almost every type of industry or business has forums where similarly situated owners can offer each other advice.

For larger businesses, independent boards of directors can fulfill the role of detached advisors as well as outside consulting specialists. Also remember loss aversion and the unwillingness to abandon sunk costs can exhibit itself in groups as well as individuals.

Finally, do not forget that even the smartest people make mistakes and often very big ones. Ignoring non-recoverable costs requires admitting that we have made bad decisions. Never an easy thing to do. But the ability to admit mistakes, abandon sunk costs and move on is vital to success in any enterprise.

Michael Sack Elmaleh
http://www.articlesbase.com/management-articles/sunk-costs-and-loss-aversion-154984.html

You know its coming; it happens every month without fail. And what happens depends on the girl. It could be crying, fits of anger, yelling, pizza consumption or chocolate obsession. Regardless, you’ll have to agree that it is in your best interest to keep your head down, figure it out and take it like a man. PMS (Pre Menstrual Syndrome)- inflicted women have been given license to run amok, and survival should be your main goal. There are ways to make it easier on the both of you — the focus needs to be on reducing her irritation and discomfort.

Don’t point out her PMS symptoms

Women can be touchy about being labelled as a raving lunatic for a few days a month, and very few will admit that they’re affected. If you notice her behavior getting out of control and you feel the need to mention it, just don’t blame the PMS. Assuming that her behavior is strictly due to her raging hormones, it will discount the possibility that her feelings are valid, and will therefore only make her angrier. You might consider yourself to be a pretty funny guy, and some women do provide plenty of fodder for entertaining comments when under the influence of PMS. Save the commentary for your buddies, well out of earshot of the lady in question. The last thing you should ever do is make jokes about her symptoms, whether its acne, an attitude reminiscent of Adolf Hitler, or eating binges. It’s best to pretend like nothing is any different than usual.

Don’t drop any surprises

Your girlfriend is bound to be a bit moody at the very least, and possibly depressed or anxious, so the last thing you want do is spring any kind of surprise on her. This can include any big news that can wait for a better time when she can give it her full attention with a sane mind and without the impact of her period. In fact, you better expand the big-news category to include any questions or problems that would require her to make grand decisions.

Obviously, small gifts and simple treats don’t fall into the particular category of surprises that need to be avoided; a thoughtful bouquet of flowers or her favourite meal will make an even bigger impression than usual if she already feels a bit emotional.

What you should be more concerned with is those surprises that can’t automatically be taken positively. For example, while you may have had many conversations about how to decorate the spare room and have thrown around some ideas, you may not want to go ahead and surprise her with a full-blown renovation or impromptu decoration if there’s any possibility that it isn’t exactly what she imagined. Likewise, big purchases that she should be included in, like that brand new 57″ plasma TV, might be a bit more than she can handle right now, and her temper might win out over your sincere gesture. It’s best to discuss things with her in advance during the best of times, so don’t skip that step when she’s even more likely to overreact.

Reduce social activities

Feeling bloated, sore and uncomfortable doesn’t make for an enchanting evening, so don’t be surprised if your lady doesn’t live up to her usual social butterfly standards around this time of the month. It’s always a good idea to check with her before confirming social plans that include her, and it’s even more vital when her body and hormones have a mind of their own.

Subhash
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/is-it-that-time-of-the-month-for-her-164519.html

The thriving inventions of the surveillance security industry have reached almost every residence, business, and governmental department. The thought of being able to monitor any desired location for several years, nonstop, regardless of the weather conditions or temperature might be basic but it most assuredly produces exceptional results. Not to mention, these cameras are getting increasingly cheap, while their features are increasing in quantity and efficiency. Their recorded footage has been used several times in court hearings as evidence for incidents of every kind.

In fact, the national crime rate has gone down significantly due to their popularity and wide use amongst all facilities and properties.
This next story will present a violent incident caught on tape.

Pinecrest Florida, where video cameras are on watch 24/7 helping to protect this family owned jewelry store. The owner Eddie DePaula has 4 cameras recording as he greets his first customer of the day; at least he thinks it is a customer. The man stands close to the glass cases and gets as close as possible to the store owner. He then pulls out a big gun in his right hand and reaches out with his left arm to grab the clerk by his shirt collar. The scheme does not go as planned and the clerk fights back since he did not notice the gun at first. Without a wait, the culprit leaped over the jewelry counter and the clerk jumped on top of him, knocking over a nearby jewelry case. They continue to wrestle. In a couple of seconds the clerk is in a fight for his life.

The clerk’s nephew is alerted by seeing the fight in the recording security cameras placed all over the store. He races from the back room to his uncle and the clerk finally gets control of the gun. The situation gets less chaotic as the clerks nephew struggles with the culprit and the clerk points the gun at him. Even though the clerk had the gun pointed at him this violent thug continues to resist them in an attempt to flee the store.

The clerk finally reaches the panic button and alerts police but the robber just keeps fighting like a man with nothing to loose. He continues to get louder and louder while ignoring the clerks commands to sit down and calm down even though he still had the gun pointed at him. One can easily tell that he was extremely nervous and continuously yelling and screaming. The clerk decides to send him a stronger message; he shoots a warning shot in the ground near his feet, again with no effect on the man’s temper.

Unfortunately none of the passing pedestrians outside realize the dangerous situation happening just a few steps away from them; their intervention could have been really helpful in this situation. The suspect continues to fight them until finally he runs out of power. After about ten minutes, the police make their entrance, they come in and handcuff the suspect. The suspect is later charged with occupied armed burglary, based on the undeniable evidence provided by the security camera system, and awaits trial. And Eddie DePaula resumes selling jewelry under the watchful eyes of his security surveillance system.

Yahya Allababidi
http://www.articlesbase.com/electronics-articles/security-cameras-for-jewelry-stores-418292.html

If there is one thing all dogs respond to no matter what they are doing or how well trained they are its receiving a treat of some sort. This reward based dog training also seems to be a constant theme for the majority of dog trainers everywhere. A reward does not necessarily have to be a food treat either. The type of training may also dictate the type of rewards given.

For instance there are some forms of training, such as police or guard dog training, that commonly use playtime after the training session to reinforce what was taught. For the majority of people who are more interested in just basic obedience training small treats work best as a reward when the dog is responding positively to the training. Of course the oldest form of rewards training involves lots of spoken praise and petting to let the dog know they are doing what they are supposed to.

One thing that all good dog trainers know and understand is the negative impact yelling and losing ones temper can do during dog training. This type of behavior on the part of the owner generally will lead to less then desirable results. Maintaining control with a firm, yet calm demeanor will have any dog learning and responding much quicker then using any heavy handed method.

Dogs have been a part of the human world for thousands of years. In that time they have evolved simply to please those who take care of them. Once they know that what they are doing pleases their owner they will continue to exhibit that good behavior. A dog will respond positively to positive reinforcement and the challenge of obedience training is getting the dog to understand what you want him to do. By having him do the same thing repeatedly and rewarding him each time for a job well done you create an understanding and bond that is hard to break.

Reward based dog training should be fun for the dog and his owner. By creating a positive atmosphere for each and every training session your dog will look forward to doing his best to please you. If you create a negative environment with harsh treatment your dog will be less then happy to attempt to learn anything. His fear of being punished will far outweigh his desire to please you.

Consistency in training and the rewards used will create a well behaved, obedient dog that will be a great companion and friend no matter where you go.

Andrew Bicknell
http://www.articlesbase.com/pets-articles/using-reward-based-dog-training-140913.html