When my son wants something and I don't let him have it he throws a fit and screams and crys. I guess it's the terrible twos. I put him in his room and told him when he can stop crying he can come out. Is that ok? How do you handle your child when they scream and cry? thanks so much

Children in the developmental stage known as the "Terrible Twos," or "First Adolescence," become aware of the choices available to them and as a result become angry or frustrated when they are powerless over those choices. The result is often "Temper Tantrums" or what I like to call "Emotional Storms."

Let's look at the example you mentioned of the grocery store — as an adult, you can choose whether or not you want to go to the grocery store, when to go, what products you are going to buy, and which products you will not purchase. When you are in the middle of shopping in the grocery store, your child will see things he wants. To make the supermarket situation worse, there are cleverly-designed packages up and down the aisles that scream, "Buy me! Buy me! Buy me!" To a large extent we are able to tune that out (although it affects us much more than we think). For a small child who is just learning to make choices, it's like going to a deafening rock concert. Visually they are overwhelmed by high-decibel choices. They are compelled to start wanting multiple attractive items. When they can't have what they want, they dissolve into tears and worse — deafening screams. Of course, everybody in the store turns and looks at your child, and (shudder) at you!

Surveys have shown that there are two common reactions of parents in this situation. The first is to spank or discipline the child in some way. Our role during this phase is to teach our children to make choices, to teach them to grow up as independent, highly functioning people. If you discipline a child for a temper tantrum in a store, you are teaching a powerful unconscious lesson: down the road, when he or she is in second adolescence, and is confused, hurting, scared, and doesn't know what choices to make — don't talk to Mom or Dad, because they will not understand and it will hurt.

The second major way that people deal with temper tantrums in stores is to give the children whatever they had the temper tantrums to get. Basically, this teaches kids that if they cry hard enough, or act out sufficiently, they will get whatever they want. We don't want to teach our children that either.

So, what does one do about temper tantrums? Try to avoid emotional storms whenever possible. Children are most susceptible to storms when they are tired, hungry, uncomfortable or bored. When possible, plan shopping for times when your child is rested, fed, and healthy. Interact with your son throughout shopping and/or bring along stimulating toys or books.

Remember the situation from your child's perspective: you are going along making choice, after choice, after choice, but when he tries to make a choice, he doesn't get what he wants. You can see how frustrating this would be. It's often helpful to let your child pick out one or two things when at the store. A good way to do this is when a child asks for something, instead of saying, "No," (which will immediately make him or her say, "Yes!") say, "Let's write that down." Then write it down. When your child asks for something else, write that down, too. Then when you are all done, read back a few of the things on the list that you think would be good choices, and let him pick one or two of the things on the list. If children can make some choices, they will both learn more and feel better. Another thing that is really worthwhile is for you to make a list before you go to the store. That way it won't look so arbitrary when you pick what you want off the shelf, and your child doesn't get his choice. As you shop, whenever you put something in your basket, check it off your list (even if it is not on your list, check it off. The list is to teach that each item has a purpose, not that you had thought of it previously).

These strategies can greatly reduce the number of emotional storms, but their appearance is inevitable. What then?

First, take a deep breath. I've been in a grocery store with my children having temper tantrums, as a pediatrician, with my patients in the checkout line. The first thing you feel is, "I just wish I could drop into the floor someplace so nobody would see me." A lot of people won't understand. They will look at you and think your child is spoiled, or you are a bad parent. The truth of the matter is you probably have a normal child and are a good parent.

It is not a defect in parenting that your child is acting this way. People who don't have kids may not understand, yet. That is their problem, though. Try to be patient with them.

When I see a parent whose child is having a tantrum in a store, I am reminded of labor. When I look at a mom in labor, I see something that is heroic, and triumphant, and beautiful. Tears come to my eyes when I am privileged to be a part of a birth. So, the next time this painful situation happens to you, take a deep breath and remember, if Dr. Greene were here, he would see something heroic and beautiful.

Next, while you are taking a deep breath, consciously relax. Kids really play off your emotions. It's so hard to relax in this situation, but just let your muscles go. The more uptight you are, the more energy is available for their tantrums. Kids thrive on attention, even negative attention.

Where you go from here depends on your child. Some children will calm down if you pick them up and hold them. My first son was like that. His storm would dissolve if you just gave him a big hug and told him it would be all right. If you picked up my second son during a storm, he would hit you — there are different ways to get him to calm down. Each child is unique. One thing that often works very well is to try to voice to the child what he is going through. "You must really want to get this, don't you?" Then he may melt and say, "Uh huh." You will have to experiment with your son to see what it is that can help him understand that everything is okay, these bad feelings will pass, and that it's all a normal part of growing up.

Whatever you do, if your child had a temper tantrum to try to get something, don't give it to him, even if you would have ordinarily done so. Giving in to tantrums is what spoils a child. Giving in is the easiest, quickest solution in the short run, but it damages your child, prolongs this phase, and ultimately creates far more discomfort for you. Choosing your son's long-term gain over such dramatic short-term relief is part of what makes properly handling temper tantrums so heroic.

Instead you might say, "Sorry, I would love to give you what you want, but because you had a temper tantrum, I can't right now. Next time, let's do that." Stand by your child during this difficult time for both of you. When you feel yourself getting tense, again say to yourself: temper tantrums are a beautiful, albeit painful, part of growing up, so take a deep breath, relax, and remember, "Dr. Greene thinks you are beautiful, courageous, and worthy of high praise!"

I am generally a nice guy but have a hair trigger temper. One of of biggest problems is driving (road rage). The other day a guy smarted off and I got out of the car and engaged in a fist fight. This was the second time, but I’ve come close other times. I’ve also had one bar fight and have had shouting matches with people in public and stores. I hate someone getting smart with me. How can I control myself better?

If you’ve engaged in road rage in more than one instance, perhaps counseling maybe a direction to go. Since anger and rage are two different things. Anger is controllable. I have a short temper as well and I just let it go, it’s something that you need to learn to control. Bar fights and shouting matches aren’t a problem in my eyes, their simple disputes, it’s the road rage that can become dangerous and sometimes lethal to not only you but others around you. Just forget it when someone makes you mad, it’s not worth it. thats what i tell myself.

How do you react when you’re angry and how do u handle it at times??? I get pretty pissed off and i feel like punching walls, mirrors… anyfing really hehehe… bt i dont… bt how much will it hurt if i do????

believe me you are not alone, i wanna hit mirrors, thin doors and stuff like that but i don't. i've heard squishing play dough in your hands relieves the anger and, lying down with cold water, to drink, cools you down, with silence, or light music.
Answer: If you punch walls you will certainly relieve the anger, but when you do, you will feel quite a bit of pain. And think of the cost of it. and if you live with your parents, youll get into alot of trouble. If its a double brick wall i wouldnt try it, aswell as mirrors.
I hope ya uze my advice, it really helps. plus, if you get into a habbit of stress it'll continue. another way to stop it is to try finding the problem, it can always be fixed. For example if its on school/college work just get help from a friend to sort it out or do a little bit of it every day which leaves less stress towards the end of when its due in.
if its caused by a number of people just avoid them or ignore them, unfortunatley thats all i can tell you!!

The Collie dog makes an excellent sporting dog, and can be taught to do the work of the Pointer and the Setter, as well as that of the Water Spaniel and the Retriever. He can be trained to perform the duties of other breeds. He is clever at hunting, having an excellent nose, is a good vermin-killer, and a most faithful watch, guard, and companion.

Little is known with certainty of the origin of the Collie, but his cunning and his outward appearance would seem to indicate a relationship with the wild dog. Buffon was of opinion that he was the true dog of nature, the stock and model of the whole canine species. He considered the Sheepdog superior in instinct and intelligence to all other breeds, and that, with a character in which education has comparatively little share, he is the only animal born perfectly trained for the service of man.

At the shows this type of dog is invariably at the top of the class. He is considered the most tractable, and is certainly the most agile. Second to this type in favour is the smooth-coated variety, a very hard, useful dog, well adapted for hill work and usually very fleet of foot. He is not so sweet in temper as the black and white, and is slow to make friends. There is not a more graceful and physically beautiful dog to be seen than the show Collie of the present period. Produced from the old working type, he is now practically a distinct breed.

The skull should be flat, moderately wide between the ears, and gradually tapering towards the eyes. There should only be a slight depression at stop. The width of skull necessarily depends upon combined length of skull and muzzle; and the whole must be considered in connection with the size of the dog. The cheek should not be full or prominent.

The muzzle should be of fair length, tapering to the nose, and must not show weakness or be snipy or lippy. Whatever the colour of the dog may be, the nose must be black. The teeth should be of good size, sound and level; very slight unevenness is permissible. The jaws Clean cut and powerful. The eyes are a very important feature, and give expression to the dog; they should be of medium size, set somewhat obliquely, of almond shape, and of a brown colour except in the case of merles, when the eyes are frequently (one or both) blue and white or china; expression full of intelligence, with a quick alert look when listening. The ears should be small and moderately wide at the base, and placed not too close together but on the top of the skull and not on the side of the head. When in repose they should be usually carried thrown back, but when on the alert brought forward and carried semi-erect, with tips slightly drooping in attitude of listening.

The neck should be muscular, powerful and of fair length, and somewhat arched. The body should be strong, with well sprung ribs, chest deep, fairly broad behind the shoulders, which should be sloped, loins very powerful. The dog should be straight in front. The fore-legs should be straight and muscular, neither in nor out at elbows, with a fair amount of bone; the forearm somewhat fleshy, the pasterns showing flexibility without weakness. The hind-legs should be muscular at the thighs, clean and sinewy below the hocks, with well bent stifles. The feet should be oval in shape, soles well padded, and the toes arched and close together.

In general character he is a lithe active dog, his deep chest showing lung power, his neck strength, his sloping shoulders and well bent hocks indicating speed, and his expression high intelligence. He should be a fair length on the leg, giving him more of a racy than a cloddy appearance. In a few words, a Collie should show endurance, activity, and intelligence, with free and true action. In height dogs should be 22 ins. to 24 ins. at the shoulders, bitches 20 ins. to 22 ins. The weight for dogs is 45 to 65 lbs., bitches 40 to 55 lbs. The smooth collie only differs from the rough in its coat, which should be hard, dense and quite smooth.

What should the parents have done differently? How is one to handle a child who refuses to calm down when they will not listen, respond to punishment (timeout), and ignoring thier bad behavior won't work. Please do not give me an answer such as "whip the child" This is not an option.

People need to teach their children how to behave in public. The airlines did the right thing in my opinion. It drives me absolutely batty when people let their children run wild in a store or a restaurant. MY son is 2-1/2 and he knows that if he doesn't be a good boy that mommy and daddy will take him home. Don't tell me that children can't be taught to be good when they are out, because me son behaves. He has his moments and gets a warning then behaves. Why should all the other people on teh flight be delayed any longer…how many of them were going to miss connecting flights…what if it had been you??

For these couple months, I’ve been feeling irritable over just little things. Luckily it’s still controllable that I don’t end up yelling at people or anything but any reasons for this or tips on how to control it?

Actually, what you are suggesting is something more akin to treating the symptoms; instead of finding out the real cause of the issue. First, you must find out what is the source for all of your recent hostilities. I’m quite sure that if you do a little soul searching, you will discover what the true issue is. After finding this out, it is most important that you confront this head-on. This will give you a sense of closure and empowerment; as most conflicts within us, are the result of some sort of disturbance of the Chakra.

So I’ve been losing my temper really easily with my horse lately and i feel SO bad about it. I just snap at every little thing and I’m afraid I’ll break our bond. I end up hitting him and yanking on his mouth (when I’m riding him).
What would you do in this situation? How would you earn your horse’s trust and respect back without losing your temper?

Walk away from the situation until you calm down, then come back. Remember that horses don’t speak our language and that it’s likely he doesn’t understand what he has done wrong.

The game of poker has always been incredibly popular, but never more mainstream than it is these days. With the introduction of more casinos and even ’super’ casinos, plus extensive coverage of big tournaments on satellite and cable television, the popularity of the poker table has never been greater. This has resulted in a large increase in the number of people trying their luck at the online poker tables. This has to be the easiest way ever to enjoy a competitive game of poker against real competition, though it has suffered a somewhat tarnished reputation due to some less than reputable sites abusing their position and attempts by some people to cheat the system. However, things have tightened up in recent times and new regulations introduced that sites have to abide by. So there are now some great sites out there that take their responsibilities seriously and you can use with confidence. Playing the game online poker for a living or just pure fun is completely within your abilities and just possible if you learn some easy rules about the game online poker. However, it takes a great blend of aptitude, enthusiasm, staying power, obedience and the right kind of temper to succeed. To successfully play game online poker, one must study and work on the game before going for it. Reading a good book will surely help you out. You must be sure that you learn all the rules, tricks and conditions of the game online poker.

There are some very important things that you should have in mind before playing online poker. First you should know how to choose a table, second you should know were to sit at the table you choose and last but not least you should know when to live the table. First of all when you are choosing an online poker table you should think of choosing one with players who are of a lesser skill level than you. So when you select a table the statistics will appear. Usually you will be given the following info: hands per hour, percentage of players seeing the flop, and average pot size. An important thing is that hands per must be very high, because when the game is fast you can make more money. The perfect table is a loose one. So you should carefully look at the number of players seeing the flop. So if the percentage is at least 30 at a table with 10 players than its good. You should look for lower limits.

The best thing for you is to have the stronger players on your right. This way you can act after they do. If you never saw those players playing you should try to watch them for a while. You should observe and take in mind if a player is loose or tight. After this try to position yourself in order to have the tight players on your right. If you have the luck to find any maniacs at the online Poker table on your left you dispose of many advantages. A maniac is a person who loves to rise with little to back up. So you can see how the other players react to his bets, if they have good hands to call him.

Before every hand you have to questions in your mind: to leave or not to leave. It’s important that you are the one that makes this choice not the other players at the table. If you feel that you are loosing you should ask your self another two questions. Is this the best table for me ‘am I in shape’ so try too see if the reasons that made you choose that online poker table still exist. Check if any of the poor players have left or if any good players have arrived. Is everyone still playing as loose as they were when you began’ even after you decided that there are the same table conditions you should check the other tables. Maybe you can find a better one.

blackjack is one of the most entertaining cards games one would have ever played, and it’s pretty easy to understand. How good are you at blackjack? There are three simple ways to increase your chances of winning at blackjack. They are:

{1} you should always double down if you have 11. The chances of scoring 20 or higher are very high. {2} why is splitting 8’s generally a good idea? Because holding a 16 hand is not very good. If you split your 8’s, you now have a realistic chance of scoring 18 or higher. Even if you don’t win both hands, you should at least win one of the hands, meaning you won’t win or lose any money. {3} if the dealer is showing a 5 or 6 hand, while you hold a 7 to 11 hand, then it is recommend doubling down. Be warned though that this tip is not for the feint hearted. If you cannot afford to lose, or don’t have much money left, then I wouldn’t recommend using this tip. It does work a lot of the time though, as demonstrated by my friends at the casino.

Perhaps something else to consider (we certainly did) is to find some good tips on poker playing to help make your online experience more enjoyable and hopefully successful.

I say Kyle Petty vs. Bobby Hillin Jr, but what’s your opinion?
Rusty throwing the water bottle at Earnhardt was a good one too.

It’s got to be the Cale Yarborough vs. Bobby and Donnie Allison in the infield of the first Daytona 500 televised live in 1979.
3 STR8 N 08!!!

Because he doesn’t want to lose his patients!

Lol and I just realised your boyfriend keeps answering your questions lol because I was thinking why do they both have the same name - Philkellen lol and then I realised yours says Philkellens girl lol!!