So what is the most crucial secret you need to know to have a successful divorce?

It is the simplest secret, yet the most difficult one to master: Controlling your emotions!

I coach many women who just can’t seem to understand and follow this one piece of advice. Usually by the time they come to see me they have made quite a mess of things. I have coached women who have been divorced for years and still can’t control their emotions when it comes to their ex-husband!

Granted you are going through one of the most difficult times you will ever face in your life, and so you may feel angry, hurt, sad, and confused.

It will take immense stamina and self-control, but you must get—and keep—control over your emotions. Your ability to do so will affect everything from how you fare financially to how your children adjust.

Losing control and showing emotion is how you lose this war. Do not be fooled, divorce is a war. You need to prepare for battle and master the art of winning the divorce war.

How do you control your emotions when you feel like you just want to scream?

1.Do not speak to your soon-to-be ex-husband unless absolutely necessary. When you do engage in conversation, speak only about your children or other important issues. Control the temptation to tell him that he is an idiot or you hate him! When you feel that you want to say something derogatory, get off the phone or walk away. Remember self-control!

2.Resist the urge to spy on him, ask neighbors and friends about what he is doing, or grill the kids about his girlfriend. I have known women to make prank calls to their husbands, drive by their ex’s homes repeatedly, and do other crazy things that were used against them in a courtroom. One woman was actually sued because she wrote a nasty comment about her ex’s girlfriend on the Internet. She didn’t even refer to this woman by name, but the implication was enough for the judge to give her a guilty verdict and a fine.

3. Do not talk incessantly about your ex. You do need to talk to someone to let out your anger and rage, but limit your circle of listeners to a few good friends and family members. The clerk at the supermarket doesn’t need to know just what a jerk your ex-husband is! Anger is like a fire that needs fuel to grow. The more you talk negatively about your ex, the angrier you will become and thus increase the chance of losing your temper.

Overall, think about the outcome you desire. Do you want to have the judge presiding over your divorce respect you, or do you want to look like an angry, bitter wife who is out of control?

Most people lie in family court, which is why judges rely on their own impression of a couple to see if the husband or wife appears more credible. Your behavior outside of the courtroom is crucial. Out-of-control behavior will almost always wind up back in the courtroom and cost you dearly.

So see a therapist, meditate, do whatever it takes to gain self-control. This is imperative at every stage: when you are thinking about getting a divorce, during the process, or even if you are already divorced. Your ex-husband is not going to go away, unfortunately, so you will need to find a way to deal with him in a calm and dignified manner.

In every business knowing more then one language is a must. Doing business with Indian clients implies the need for English to Hindi translator. Because of the many spoken languages and dialects in India, because of the culture and, most of all, because of the business protocol, one has to a translator to run a successful business. This article proposes to present a few tips about business meetings with Indian clients.

Any respected businessman knows that when it comes to doing business with foreigners you must be well documented about their culture and language. India is a very interesting country, first of all because of the large number of languages spoken there. Hindi is the official language of India. When doing business with Indian people you must have some ideas about their business etiquette if you want your relationship to be a very successful one. This is why many companies have felt the need to hire translators.

Indians rather do business with people they know and trust. They are very communicative people and tend to stay close to the person they talk to. In business, they tend to do small talk, finding more about the person they meet and talk less about business, so it is necessary to have the English to Hindi translator next to you. Being a hierarchical society, they appreciate more the elder and well-qualified people.

When attending to a meeting you must present your business card translated to Hindi and treat their business cards with a great respect. Any well-qualified translators will surely advice not to lose your temper in a meeting because Indians are non-confronting and losing your temper may lead to a loss of face. The need for the English to Hindi translator is higher when talking business because the Hindi speaking clients tend to be quite ambiguous letting you read between the lines. This happens because they do not use the word no. They do not want to disappoint you even if they do not quite agree with you.

Learning more about Indian people will surely convince you that it is necessary to have the translator present at any business meeting. This is to show them the required respect and to avoid any misunderstandings. The translator can also teach you a few phrases. The meeting will turn to a real success by showing a great respect towards their traditions and language and by speaking to them in their own language.

A real successful businessman knows that well built relationships are based on trust and respect and it is very important to know how to show them. The English to Hindi translator can teach you how to behave and talk around the people that have a different cultural background than you and how to interpret their own actions and decisions. For a good communication and wonderful results one certainly has to hire a translator.

Whenever a Sim uses the computer, other sims throw a temper tantrum and want to turn the computer off.

Because they saw George Bush on the internet!

JKS

Cus they wanted to use it.
Or…there is no room or no chair

I was at work and I keep getting really angry all the time and I have a bad temper. My boss told me that if I don't control my temper, I will be fired. what is the best way to control the temper? please help

there was a classic example used in my psychology class, of a person who puts a coin in a vending machine and nothing comes out… that is frustration. There are various ways to deal with frustration, some better and more effective than others. We can just kick the machine, which rarely works. We can look at it and try to figure out why it is not working, and think about what we might be able to do to fix it. We can call the number on the machine to get a refund.

The alternatives mentioned above are in the category of problem solving skills,, similar to conflict resolution skills. Especially if we come from a background that is dysfunctional we might not have very good constructive problem solving or conflict resolution skills, and revert back to the more primitive 'kick the machine' types of aggressive and controlling attempts.

controlling your temper involves learning better skills when you are frustrated. To learn these you need counseling in that regard, and can call your local mental health clinic to find out what is available in your area.

I had the same problem, and one thing I did was to go through a program called AVP, Alternatives to Violence Program. I was not in jail. I took it with a local Quaker group, and then I did the second part of it that was held in a jail : http://www.avpusa.org/

I also participated in a local conflict mediation series of workshops.

there are conflict resolution courses,,, here are links:

http://www.crnhq.org/twelveskills.html

http://www.grad.ubc.ca/gradpd/guides/conflict.html

I have a toddler who was some sensory issues, so I buy him specifically recommended toys. He has had a tendancy to throw temper tantrums from time to time (especially when told "No"). These tantrums include head banging, scream as loud as possible, pinching self, biting self, pulling hair and sometimes acting out on older sibling. I have tried to distract him with things when I see the behavior starting. I have tried time out in the playpin. It much more controllable at home because he can run and play and stay busy. Going to the store and driving around are another story because he is strapping in the cart or car seat. Just looking for more ideas to curb this behavior.

Many thanks!

My son has Sensory Integration Disorder and High Functioning Autism and we have gone through the same thing. He is 5 now and a lot has improved but it is still a challenge.
How old is your son? If he is only 3 or 4 it may just be normal acting out- kids with sensory problems often develop a little more slowly that other kids- he may be going through the terrible two's a little late.
But it may be something more. I was a preschool teacher prior to having my own kids, and while I could teach him academics, he needed socialization skills that could only be learned through group settings and by modelling others. There should be a program set up through the school system in your area for children with developmental issues. Once he started that it made a big improvement in his behaviour, but it took a while for it to show. He still goes to it until he starts Kindergarten next year.
For right now, I would suggest bringing him to his pediatrician and getting a formal diagnosis and setting him up with Physical, Occupational and Speech Therapy and maybe a Behaviour Specialist dealing with Sensory Defensiveness and Self Injurous Behaviours (biting self, banging into walls, etc). Much of the acting out my son did was because of frustration since he couldn't communicate what was wrong or couldn't do something he was trying to do. And your son may benefit from that as well. They showed me how to do Brush Therapy and to use pressure balls to help calm him and that helped a lot.
My son still doesn't like being told no (what kid does, lol), and time out and the usual behaviour modification techniques did not work. We had to figure out why he was doing the things that he was doing.
For instance, he would scream every time we went to the store and I put him in a cart. We figured out that it was caused by the movement of the cart- Vestibular movement really bothered him, going backwards in the cart moved the fluid in his ears and made them hurt. Turning him around and putting him in the cart (not the seat) fixed it. He also gets overwhelmed by crowds and open spaces, i.e. stores, theme parks, malls etc. Giving him a blanket to cover up under looks wierd, but it gave him a safe place to hide and he would quiet down. Try to find out what is bothering him and is it under or over stimulation- then try to fix it.
Remember that all his senses are used, tags, clothes, sounds, smells, bright light, movement, routines and feeling sick or allergies all can contribute.
I would also suggest joining a support group (online or in person) to get ideas- things like this take a lot of energy and emotion and every kid is different, what works for one may not work for another.
Some of it may be just accepting his limitations, knowing that over time they will get better and trying to keep a positive attitude, knowing that as hard as it is for you, it is worse for him. I know how frustrating and hard that can be.
Hope this helps, and God bless.
Sorry for spelling errors, spell check isn't working lol

Kids aren’t born with a set of moral guidelines built in. In fact, if you have ever spent time with a two year old you’ll start to realize that the opposite seems to be true. If there is a button to press, a glass to spill, or a temper tantrum to have, it will be done.
It is our job as parents to teach our kids what is acceptable and what is not. There is a whole generation of parents out there that has forgotten, or was never taught, that children need limitations. Kids need to know what the boundaries are and what will happen if they cross them. Believe me, we aren’t doing anything good for our kids by letting them rule the roost. Too many parents today confuse lack of restriction with love.
Love does have limits. While every child needs love, and this generation of parents, especially dads, have improved on physical acts of love, love without limits is perilous. Children do need some degree of freedom, but that freedom has to be age appropriate and never detract from our role as parent.
Kids need to experience making choices, but these choices need to be within the freedoms they are allowed. Our job as a parent is to help our kids make the right choices. When we give our children freedoms that are age appropriate we gradually instill a sense of self-confidence that functions simultaneously with respect for authority. When your kids respect your authority, it is the beginning of reciprocal love.
We too often think that the hugs and kisses we receive when we give into our five year old’s demands are acts of love on the child’s part. This type of manipulation, and little kids know all to well how to manipulate, only lead to greater acts of outbursts and eventually lack of respect for the parent’s role.
As parents we all want our children to be happy, but giving into demands, even seemingly small ones, renders children to believe that they are in control. When a child acts out in temper tantrums and manipulation what he/she is asking is “can I get my own way?” The answer to the question should be “no.” When manipulation is used in any form, kids need to hear a definitive “no.” However, once the child has calmed down enough to listen it should also be explained why the answer was “no,” and if appropriate what better way to go about the situation in the future.
“No” is a good word. It protects us from harmful situations. It can be a safety net for kids looking for boundaries. We love our children, and when we set appropriate limits, along with plenty of physical and verbal affection, we show our love. Limits are internalized and help kids feel safe. Set limits early, and both you and your child will thank you in the long run.

When you are experiencing a panic attack, one of the most important things that you must attempt to do is to control your breathing. Although it is difficult and may not strike your mind at first to do so, it is extremely helpful in calming down your body as well as your emotions. All those who suffer from panic attacks will suffer from an increase of oxygen flow into their blood and thus making their heart work harder than normal. For such people, they must learn how to ‘breathe into their stomach’. It could save their lives.

Slow breathing into the stomach has shown good results in helping people halt panic attacks and prevent them from recurring.

Although it is a good technique for easing anxiety and panic, it can be quite difficult for a beginner to learn. People with malady like panic or anxiety always breathe into their chests. In addition, telling such people during a panic situation to try to breathe into their stomach could fuel the already tense situation. Instead, one must tell them to practice breathing into the stomach once they are back to a normal temper. The learning and practicing part is important so that whenever you have the next panic attack you can straightaway start breathing into your stomach.

Following are some tips that you might find useful in learning and application of breathing into your stomach.

1.Lie down on the bed with your chest facing upwards. Now place one of your hands firmly onto your stomach and the

other one lightly onto your stomach. Inhale heavily and try to concentrate only on allowing your stomach to fill with air and not your chest. The idea here is to make sure that maximum amount of air that you inhale goes into your stomach and minimum to the chest. The aim should be to breathe only six-eight times per minute. During the entire process, try to maintain a very relaxed state of mind and body, so that you do not feel anxious.

2.In case you still cannot do this try to use a weight a weight on your stomach. Use a book or anything between 4-6 pounds and repeat the process as stated above. Concentrate on allowing the weight rise when you take in air.

3.Well if even that does not work for you then try to get down on all four just like a cat. In such a position, the chest is, forcibly shut in one place and forces the stomach to suck in the air you breathe in. like both the above methods this one too should be done with very relaxed state of mind and body.

Try to do these for few minutes initially and then you can graduate to up to 15-20 minutes at a stretch. Once you have reached this level try to do it while sitting upright and then while standing and if possible even while you are walking.

After you master all of the techniques you should try to do this different situations like while sitting in your office or in your car etc. Such exercises will help you in coping much better in certain similar environments.

Conclusion

Though this is good technique and does not cause much strain, you should not try to go overboard or try to progress too quickly. Just do so gradually. Also, get a help from a friend or someone close by to help you while you are practicing. It helps to have someone else monitor your breathing and then commanding you to do it correctly.

We all know that not all parents are created equal. Some are good parents and some are bad parents. But good and bad parenting are results of both conscious and unconscious choices. Why so? That’s because good parents made it their choice to learn beneficial ways and methods in parenting. Perhaps they have a good upbringing as well. However, does that mean bad parents are bad by their own choice? Nothing can be further from the truth. Bad parents do also feel that they can do better and often times, they too want to be loved and adored by their children. Often times, their inability to make the transition in becoming a better parent is because they feel overwhelmed by their personal situations.

One of the major things that causes bad parenting is bad parenting. I know that sounds a bit odd but read carefully. Imagine a child growing up in a poorly managed family. I don’t mean poor as in destitute but as in poor methods of parenting. Their children will learn to become the parents they so despise. When they are young, they were already being programmed to become the parents they so dislike. Therefore, when they grow up, they too become the clone of their own parents. A total MIRROR IMAGE. Which is why, in some cases, breaking that mirror is simply a must.

Now how do you do that? Well, here are ways to go about breaking that mirror. This is best done before marriage and before deciding to have children. Always ask yourself first. What kind of parent do I want to be? What kind of a leader do I want to be for my child? Do I want he or she to go through some of the unpleasant circumstances I was born into? If I am my child, what kind of family do I want to be born into? With these questions, it will bring light to what sort of a parent you desire to become.

After knowing what you want, it is still impossible to break the mirror as you do not know how to do it. this is the time you consult your 6 best friends on earth. Namely: Why, Who, How, What, When and Where.

For example, if your situation is your own bad temper, then ask the following questions:

1) Why do I want to change and eliminate my bad temper?
2) Who do I seek help from to deal with my temper problems?
3) How can I get the most benefit from the people I seek help from?
4) What techniques should I apply to make myself calm down during a temper?
5) When to apply the best technique for temper control for the best results?
6) Where can I find more resources related to my problem?

With these 6 best friends by your side, you are on your way to breaking that old mirror image of the bad parenting traits your parents may have left in you. You will be able to break free from the ill effects of bad parenting and begin a good and happy family of your own. Of course, anything good requires effort for maintenance. Always remember, your journey to good parenting and break all mirrors will be life long and that you will need to always work closely with your 6 best friends from time to time. Good luck and may you be happy always!

http://infohub2006.blogspot.com/ presents you with the (HOW, WHAT and WHO) of good parenting, do visit us for more info and resources! Remember, Good Parenting is a choice.